Chapter One, Verse One: the Triburapture is cancelled due to being silly. v. 2: Gimme a break! We thought y'all were all smart enough to recognize a metaphor for a metaphor and not science. v. 3: Thou shalt drink tea and coffee for breakfast and not be cruel to animals, especially dogs. v. 4: Blessed are the canids for theirs are the kingdom of God. v. 5: blessed are the malters, brewers, distillers, and vintners, for they shall be seated at the right hand of the dogs alongside the sushi chefs and good bakers. v. 6: Yea, ye triburaturists and word of faithers, cursed be ye until ye get on your knees and publicly repent and stop with the distasteful televisor shows selling products and ugly cat house sets! v. 7: Blessed be the historians, editors, librarians, archivists as are St. Bruce of Asbury Park, St. Neil of the Crazy Horse and St. Bob of The Band. v. 8: Be ye not foolish like the Mormen and refuse to take thy tea and coffee of a morning and throughout the day, for as the prophet saith, "Take a bit of caffeine for thy stomach's sake and that jolt preparing one for a hard day of dog walking and reading."
Written after the spirit of the blessed twin "ines," caff and nico had overcome me with their wonderful morning blessings. We pray ye all take of a hearty Southern breakfast, cigarettes and coffee and tea, as hath the prophets who came before you, Blessed Molly and Ann of Texas.