quote:
Originally posted by Nurturing Father:
Oh, I see the good in it. I am real happy for him. But really should any FIT parent have to wait FIVE years for their child?
Should any FIT parent have to expend millions of dollars to have their child returned?
I can only assume you profit off the legal system.
Certainly our system does correct injustices sometimes, but typically, it is more about who can expend the most money, who knows the judge, etc. and it has nothing to do with the best interests of the child.
As a FIT parent I have personally experienced being kept from my child. It wasn't five years, but long enough to have knowledge of how two wrongs do not make a right. Neither you or LawGuy have experienced such outrageous conduct, so what qualifies you to have an opinion?
In my opinion, absent a finding of parental unfitness by clear and convincing evidence children of divorce should have both parents.
First, I don't benefit anything from the legal system.
Second, the law still rules regardless of finding of fitness that you cling too, but I don't disagree that a child should have access to both parents.
Third, I will remind you that you don't know me personally and you don't know what me or my family have been through. I know more about what you rant about than you would guess, but I don't let it rule my life or be my only purpose in life. Things happened - life goes on...life is what you make of it and apparently me and my family have fared well because there is no bitterness or regret or anger over any of what happened. I suggested counseling because it can be a very good thing in situations like this where all you focus on are the negative things that happen to you and when all you focus on are the negative or the agenda, you miss out on so much more that life has to offer you. You can judge me all you want. I've already been judged and I assure you, the finding was in my favor.
You continue to talk about being a FIT parent. Let me ask you, would you consider a "hoarder" or a "drug addict" or a "OCD" or other mental issues a "FIT" parent? Those are addictive behaviors and AT TIMES -- NOT ALL OF THE TIME -- BUT SOMETIMES, I see an addiction in your posts...and overly sensitive fixation on your topics and what you stump about and that is concerning. It makes me ask myself if you do this around your child during the time that you have her? Do you run down her mother to others in front of her? Do you give her a negative opinion of the court system and make her not have respect for authority or for our legal system etc? Do you impart that negativity to your child? While a court may not consider it UNFIT -- it should be a red flag for you to recognize this behavior as something you don't want to pass on to your daughter. Those behaviors would or could adversely affect your custody situation. You can be "fit" some of the time, but not be capable of being "fit" all of the time regardless of custody arrangement or divorce or whatever. However, just as LawGuy pointed out -- your rights have not been terminated -- limited by time due to the divorce -- your child can't be in two places at once and I would dare to say your ex is just a fit parent as you think you are as well -- so I hope you are thankful for the blessings that you do have. It is what it is...make the very best of it...make your daughter see what she has and don't let her look back and have issues because she believes your agenda is more important to you than she is.
Having an opinion and a conviction about something is wonderful but to have it be to the point of an obsession is never a good thing. Just my opinion...as someone that has been there and done that and been on both sides of the couch -- I am very entitled to state it.