Couple more Jokes to Start the Day...

An elderly gentleman
had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%       
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is  perfect.. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'       
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.       
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!     

Last but not least:

Couple in their nineties  are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember          
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen? he asks.       
Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?      
Sure..       
Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it? she asks.       
No, I can remember it.   
Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?  
He says, I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.
       
I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down!! she asks.       
Irritated, he says, Dammit, I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!      
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,       The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment.    
"Where's my toast ?"       

 

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