Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

You seem to think it odd the Frei family continued with the adoption. I attempted to find some stats on how many adoptions have no signed consent from the father. I didn't find anything quickly, but I did find one adoption site that gave some interesting facts.

This agency is national, and while I didn't see a specific religious group named, I inferred it was there at least partially to offer an alternative to abortion. This agency, which works nationwide, stated it receives 25 calls a week from mothers who don't know who the father is, where the father is, or something similar.

We may assume at least some of these are being untruthful. Still that would be 100 a month, 1,200 a year that are seeking to offer a child for adoption. The numbers for all nationwide would seem to be extremely large. Do you think each adoptive family should say, "Okay, let's not adopt since we don't have permission from the father?" No, they go thru with the adoption and no judge calls them thieves (we hope).

So true Bestworking, She has said that we said this and we said that and doesn't realize the things that she said. From reading back, she is the one that didn't think that a man could raise his child. And Kate, there is a private adoption. It is between the parent of the child and the adoptive parents. They do not let the parent of the child meet with the adoptive parents but the one giving up the child for adoption has to give her medical records to the lawyer in case that they need to give blood or for any other medical problem in the child. Doing it this way the child does not go to foster home after foster home. The state will not let the foster parent adopt the child that they are fostering and will take the child and put it into another home. But getting back to the subject, first you Kate started on me for the word real, and now you are saying Bestworking said this and said that. Go back and read yourself what was said and who said it. I think that you are throwing this all out of perportion  and do not care who's toes you step on or who's feelings you hurt. You Kate are right and nobody else knows anything. You Kate are getting in to deep and should back off a little. There are nothing you can do about this situation. You will never know how the little girl is doing or who is watching her and really that is none of you concern.  

I don't think it's odd-I think it was the height of arrogance on their part. It would have taken very little effort on their part to contact him and see what his wishes were, but they thought they'd bully him if he did put up a fight. They jerked him around for two years, but they lost out in the end. Adoption isn't a game. You better believe someone better say no to an adoption if they don't have the parent's permission. If they go ahead and something arises, they have no one to blame but themselves. So, the agencies and the adoptive parents know the women are lying, and like in this case don't give a flip about what the father might want? And that's OK with you? I couldn't live with myself thinking I had taken a child from a father that had no idea of their whereabouts and wasn't allowed a say in what happened to it. This case may shed light on these nasty practices, get some things changed, and let fathers have more say and more rights when it comes to their flesh and blood. We can only hope.

I do agree that is none of our concern, up to a point. Countless children suffer each day and we know nothing of it. Still, Best posted this for us to comment. At least she knows whatever is posted here is subject to comment.

Some time ago there was a poster here who didn't like blacks, women, or animals. Whenever I see his name, real or screen, I think of that. Now that you have posted here I will always remember you don't think adoptive parents are real parents. That's your prerogative, LAL, but don't expect me not to think much less of you because of that.

So, Best, those thousands of children who're adopted each year without the father's consent...would you rather the woman had an abortion, of she gave the child to the state for us to support (in which case they might eventually be adopted anyway)?

This is not about abortion-except that a man has no say in that either, maybe one day that will change too, as it should. This is about a father that was cut out of his child's life for no reason, except someone thought they could get away with doing it and said to heck with his feelings. They knew this man was out there, they knew he MIGHT come after his daughter, they chose to ignore his feelings, not contact him, and do what they wanted. They had no right to do that. This child should have been given to her father when he first asked for her and she was just a few weeks old. Any suffering they go through is their own fault. I think if anyone is stupid enough to adopt without both parents consent, or indisputable proof the father/parents can't be found, they had better be ready to give that child up. This agency might be in hot water over this, they should be. He should sue the socks off of them and the freis. 

If a court took a suit against the Freis seriously, it would greatly damage all adoption in the US. Look at the legals in your local paper to see how many ads there are each month announcing an adoption where a parent can't be found.

Oh I think a court would take it seriously. There's a big difference in not knowing and knowing, as the freis did, that the father most likely would object to the adoption, but going right ahead and disregarding his feelings. They were ordered to turn the child over and still fought, costing the father more money and emotional distress, and denying him of two years of her life. They have five more children and should know what it feels like to love a child, and what they were doing to this man for two years, yet they think this man should just toss his feelings aside to satisfy them. They rolled the dice, they lost, it's them, not the father, that should just shut up and go on with their lives. You keep wanting to liken this case to other cases, wander off course and make it about things it's not about. Adoption announcements in the paper have nothing at all to do with this case.

Kate, I cannot control what you think of me and I really do not care. I have not said anything wrong and everyone is real people. I did not think for a moment that the adoptive parents were not real parents. That is ridiculousness. They are not the real parents of this little girl!! No matter how you look at it  it always comes to the same conclusion, and that is that they are NOT THE GIRLS REAL PARENTS.  I will not loose any sleep knowing that you do not think highly of me. That is something that you have to deal with in your own way. I do not know you and I have no reason to even think about you. I only spoke the truth and if you don't like what I said, then why should it bother me. I do not comments about things to make people like me, I comment by writing how I feel about the situation and I am not going to tip toe around you. You make your own choices in life and you are the only one that has to deal with them. So if thinking bad toward me will make you happy, then go for it.