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Trump Fires Up Base With Call For Death Penalty For Suicide Bombers

 

While in Europe for the G7 Summit, President Trump has criticized the other member nations for not having the death penalty, which he says should especially apply to suicide bombers like the one who attacked Manchester recently.

“Anyone who terrorizes and kills good people by blowing themselves deserves nothing less than the highest penalty, which is to pay with their life.”

Though Trump’s remarks led to confusion among his G7 colleagues and concerns that he may be overtired, they are playing very well with his base back in the United States.

“If you detonate yourself with high explosives in the United States, Jeff Sessions and I will ensure that you regret it. Believe me.”

It has already led to thousands of calls to DC by Trump voters demanding why there have not been more convictions of suicide bombers. Lawmakers tried to explain the logistical problem with that, but were quickly undermined by more soundbites from Trump.

“Our vengeance will be swift against those extremists who blow themselves up.”

Trump was asked to clarify if he really meant co-conspirators and handlers of suicide bombers, but he brushed that aside saying he likes to keep his focus on the ‘main guy’ in situations like this.

 

*satire... get over it.

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