Reply to "The Long-Term Effects of Spanking (published study)"

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Originally posted by Buttercup:

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Originally posted by thenagel:

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Originally posted by Buttercup:

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Originally posted by thenagel:
.. you've told your child to clean it's room.
he persists in not cleaning his room. you've told him he's grounded, he gets tiem out, no tv, no ipods, no playstation, no anything for a week, and still he doesn't clean his room.

what's next?

you tell him to clean the room and he says no.

you tell him some more. he says no.
you tell him again, and you get no results.

regardless what you choose to believe, there are kids out there with enough stubbornness to resist anything you say.

Great example, thenagel. If he won't clean his room, no matter what, I'd take the bed, t.v., everything but the floor out of there. I would be willing to bet that sleeping on the floor a few nights will change his mind. And, no, that's not abuse; it's winning the battle of wills.

If that still doesn't work, take all his clothes away and replace them with the most off-brand stuff you can find from Goodwill or Wal-Mart. You really think a teenager, who's all about vanity, won't do what you ask then? Again, he'll live. Chances are excellent that he won't want to suffer the embarrassment after you tell him what you're going to do.

well, 1st
we don't have money for designer stuff.. they are in wal mart and hand me downs already. and for that matter, why should it be embarassing? why should we care what other people think about our clothes? my kids have been taught the measure of a persons worth is what's in the heart and head, not what's on their bodies or what kinda car they drive.
no tv in the kids rooms. we have more money than we did then, and i still refuse to put a tv in their rooms. no cell phones until they go get a job and pay for it themselves.
i daughter does have an ipod, and the is a ps2 in the living room that my son lives on when he's allowed, and a computer in the livingroom that they share where they cna be watched occasionally.

i acctually didn't think about making him sleep in the floor, but i can honestly say i really think that it would have made no difference

and no.. i wouldnt call that child abuse at all.

and i'm very sorry for the lag between the original post, and then my final editing.. we had family over and there was much distraction so it took me a while, so there was stuff in the final version ( including mucho typos) that you didn't see.
sorry about that

I agree with what's in bold; we instill the same values in our child. But let's get real. Kids care about labels and name brands; we did when we were kids.

I buy most of our clothes from from Wal-Mart and Target because I simply can't swallow paying mall prices for things. I didn't mean to imply there was something wrong with it; just thinking from a kid's point-of-view. Trust me, I'm one of the least snobby people you'd ever meet.