quote:Originally posted by Sofa King:quote:Originally posted by dogsoldier0513:quote:Originally posted by Sofa King:
Dog,
I'm curious: We used to use CP in our mental institutions and military. We outlawed those practices along ago. Would you be in favor of bringing those practices back?
No. As I have previously stated, there is an age at which I believe corporal punishment becomes ineffective.
So you seem to agree that there is a point where CP is no longer effective. Exactly what age is that?
i also agree that the child reaches a point where spanking is non productive.
exactly when depends on the child. my daughter, the youngest and more observant and a little more willing to learn form other's mistakes has seen her brother spanked and nade a note of what it was, and so avoided the situation. she was last paddled when she was maybe 5.. maybe even 4. she's 11 now.
my 13 year old son was paddled earlier this year for lying to us, the one unforgivable transgression. he'd gotten into trouble at school and lied about it. the next week, he got in trouble again (same thing, different situation) and came home and told us about it as soon as he walked in the door. to reinforce the ' Lying=Bad ' idea, we patted him on the head and told him not to do it again and then we made cookies.
he hasn't done it again.
(and just for my sons sake, i'll say that his misbehavior at school stemmed from frustration and anger at being bullied there. when he finally told us about it, we got in touch with the school and it's " being taken care of ". since then my son hasn't gotten into trouble at school at all.)
and i just want to make it perfectly clear - we didn't paddle him for what he did at school, we paddled him for lying to us about it.
he's reached the point now where spanking isn't useful in general, we only use it for that one thing. Lie to us, and we'll bust your butt. everything else can be worked out.
if he doesn't lie to us again, he won't be spanked again, but in compliance with a word that several people have used in this thread, we must be consistant. we told him that if he lies, he gets spanked, so as parents we must keep our word.
our daughter got that message early on.
some children never need to be spanked. you tell them NO, and they obey. some are told no over and over and over, and still see exactly how far they can push it before they cross the line. a smack on the butt shows them they need to quit testing.
anti-spankers think those of us who spank are poor parents that are borderline abusive who can't control their kids without beating them.
pro-spankers think that the anti-spankers are whimpy new-ager psychobabble nimrods who let their kids run roughshod over the house and can't keep discipline.
the truth is, in some cases, both of these *are* true.
in MOST cases, neither are true.
it's pretty much down to this - if it works for you, use it. if it doesn't, don't. but quit trying to tell other people how to raise their kids. i don't care if you spank your kids or not. if they come to my house and are rotten brats, i'll toss em out. (i've done this) if they come over and are well behaved, i'll tell you how wonderful they were while here. (done this as well) whether you spank em or not is none of my business, no matter how they behaved.
i won't tell you to beat your kids if you won't tell me i can't beat mine as needed
