Originally Posted by Bestworking:
A man called up a bible believing church and the church secretary answered the call. The man on the other end of the line said, "I’d like to speak to the head hog." The secretary replied, "That wasn’t a very nice thing to say about our beloved minister, Rev. Jones." Again the man replied, "I’d like to speak to the head hog, because I’m going to donate $75,000.00 to the church. She replied, "Hold on a moment, I think the big fat pig just walked in."
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Originally Posted by lexum:
best, you better not be making this up.
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(Chick raising right hand to be sworn in)
Judge lexum: chick, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Chick: Well, your honor, I'll tell the truth but I'm not sure anyone can help me since I'm the only one here, besides Best, that knows the truth.
Judge lexum: (banging gravel) Shut up, chick, & sit down before I throw you in the dinger for contempt of court!
Chick: Yes sir, your honor sir! (sits down quickly)
Judge lexum: Chick, do you know anything about this story Best, who is a nasty ole Atheist, told about the church secretary answering a call about a donation? And, just remember, Atheist don't know how to tell the truth.
Chick: Yes, sir, your honor sir! See, it's like this.
Best was telling the truth, she don't lie, your honor sir. She's one of the most honest people you'll ever meet. I was there, I heard that secretary say the big fat pig just walked in.
Judge lexum: Get outta here, chick, you're a sinner! You wouldn't know the truth if it walked up & bit you on the ass!