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I know there are lots of parents on here so I have a question. How do you handle it when your child tries out for a sport and does not make the cut. This would be a Jr high sport that your child has played since the age of four! How do you help your child cope with this rejection at this age? The talent is not in question but maybe the popularity. Any one experienced this?
" I don't have any black players. I don't have any white players. I only have football players." PAUL W. "BEAR" BRYANT
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quote:
The talent is not in question but maybe the popularity. Any one experienced this?

Please,Please do not take what i am about to say wrong,,just something to think about.
That one sentence says alot. How do you KNOW the talent is there,really, he did not make the cut and these sports teams are dead serious about the winning(TOO danged much so in my opnion). So goes to reason they are picking top notch players eyed by those doing the selection.
Simply because your child has played this sport since age 4 does not necessarily mean the talent is what you as a parent are percieving it to be maybe? Playing since age 4 has given your child a deep knowledge of the game and he/she already has the obvious passion,but talent falls into another area altogether.
So in my ever so humble opinion on how to handle this,,very gently, try not to cast too much blame on the popularity issue, it leaves a very bitter note to these young folks and builds needless insecurities in the wrong places.Kids have more 'bounce back' than we adults give them credit for on many things,sometimes the less action is the best action.
Rejection is a part of life, something everyone has to learn to deal with and at least this is over a sport,a pastime pleasure issue.Encourage your child to try out for a different sport,or another team if one is available locally.
And i did have to watch my son go thru something similiar to this when he was in high school over solo spot in the band. It hurts to see your child hurt,but as it turned out my pride was hurt a heck of alot more,and LONGER than he did.
quote:
Originally posted by ahanback:
I know there are lots of parents on here so I have a question. How do you handle it when your child tries out for a sport and does not make the cut. This would be a Jr high sport that your child has played since the age of four! How do you help your child cope with this rejection at this age? The talent is not in question but maybe the popularity. Any one experienced this?


If they love the sport and want to keep trying, then encourage them. If they have promise eventually they will succeed. If not they usually lose interest and find something else to get involved in. Rejection is part of life. It is important that you reinforce your child's self esteem. Let him know that in order to excel he must keep trying even when he has set-backs. Both my daughters experienced such rejections and discovered they were better at somethings than others. Eventually they found their strengths, but only after first finding their weaknesses.

P.S. Never blame it on someone else, like coaches, or teachers. Usually a coach will choose the best players. You certainly would not want to reinforce the idea that your child was robbed of greatness because of a coach who did not like him, or picked someone else based on popularity.
I just made up a poll that said 93% of me doesn't give a flip about meanasasnamke's opinions. I am a little curious about the hobby. Do they need volunteers at the home?

It is reliant because I just made up another poll Obama voters are 66% more likely to have sensitive sons with soft heads and 42% of them go on to wear girl pants.
It's tough to see your child disappointed and feeling rejected. I agree with all the responses here (well, with one obvious exception - *looks over imaginary spectacles* behave, Ron!).

You know how counting your blessings encourages you? Count your child's blessings & point out her strengths. Tell her that you believe in her. Tell her that this is only one challenge and that you will be right there in her corner when the next one comes. Tell her that you know she is disappointed, but that you are not disappointed in her and that you will stand proudly beside her as she overcomes the disappointment she feels & takes on the next challenge in her young life. Why? Because she's freakin' awesome, that's why! Smiler
quote:
Originally posted by Ron Pheixising:
I just made up a poll that said 93% of me doesn't give a flip about meanasasnamke's opinions. I am a little curious about the hobby. Do they need volunteers at the home?

It is reliant because I just made up another poll Obama voters are 66% more likely to have sensitive sons with soft heads and 42% of them go on to wear girl pants.


You can "make up" your polls if you wish. I will stick with Gallup.

Link

No, we do not need any volunteers at the home. We do have some space left in the out patient program at the mental health center. I would be glad to help you out with that one.
Michael Jordan was cut from his middle school basketball team. Instead of crying about it, he practiced hard, put his talent to work, and made his high school team. You know where it goes from there.

If you teach the kid that it wasn't his fault or that the coach just didn't like him, he fails to learn to pick himself up and work harder for the next try out. If Jordan quit when he was cut, he would have ended up working for Gallup pulling poll numbers out of his butt.
Thanks everyone you helped me put it into perspective! And I don't mind the comment about my President either....I expected it! The talent comment comes from others outside of our family! Of course we think our child is the best Big Grin Sometimes the first year at a new school is hard! Maybe next year! Again thanks for the advice!
quote:
Originally posted by _Joy_:
It's tough to see your child disappointed and feeling rejected. I agree with all the responses here (well, with one obvious exception - *looks over imaginary spectacles* behave, Ron!).

You know how counting your blessings encourages you? Count your child's blessings & point out her strengths. Tell her that you believe in her. Tell her that this is only one challenge and that you will be right there in her corner when the next one comes. Tell her that you know she is disappointed, but that you are not disappointed in her and that you will stand proudly beside her as she overcomes the disappointment she feels & takes on the next challenge in her young life. Why? Because she's freakin' awesome, that's why! Smiler


Wonderful advice Big Grin
quote:
Originally posted by NashBama:
Michael Jordan was cut from his middle school basketball team. Instead of crying about it, he practiced hard, put his talent to work, and made his high school team. You know where it goes from there.

If you teach the kid that it wasn't his fault or that the coach just didn't like him, he fails to learn to pick himself up and work harder for the next try out. If Jordan quit when he was cut, he would have ended up working for Gallup pulling poll numbers out of his butt.


I did not know that......COOL Cool
WOW! I did not know that little tid bit about Michael Jordan! Anyway, my heart goes out to you and your child. It is probably the hardest thing ever to watch your child cry or be upset over something and especially something that you can not do anything about. Please keep encouraging your child. If you don't support them and tell them they are the *best* who will? We as parents, should always be our child's number one fan! It sounds like you are already that to your child or else your heart wouldn't be breaking for them. It is hard at any age to face disappointment and rejection especially during those "oh so important junior high years". Sometimes, we are shown our weakness so we can focus more on our strengths. Encourage your child to keep on reaching for the stars... I tell my son every single morning when I drop him off at school to learn something important, do something kind to someone, say something nice to someone, and shine bright! He knows what that means. I wish you and your child all the luck next time! This way, your child gets a whole year to practice practice practice and come back next year and beat the socks off of them! Just a side note: I began dancing at 4 years old. As I got older I tried out for dance troupes and made them and was allowed to go to competitions. At one particular competition, in the first category I was told that I had absolutely no technique and it KILLED me. At the end of the day, at the last competition of the day, I won first place. So with that said, sometimes it isn't about talent and technique, it is about what that judge (or coach) is looking for at that very moment. Nerves could have played a part if this was your child's first tryout and maybe with this tryout "under the belt" next time will be much easier!
quote:
Originally posted by NashBama:
Michael Jordan was cut from his middle school basketball team. Instead of crying about it, he practiced hard, put his talent to work, and made his high school team. You know where it goes from there.

If you teach the kid that it wasn't his fault or that the coach just didn't like him, he fails to learn to pick himself up and work harder for the next try out. If Jordan quit when he was cut, he would have ended up working for Gallup pulling poll numbers out of his butt.


This is a good point. There was a poster at CrustyChildren's school that read:

I've Failed

• I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career
• I’ve lost almost 300 games
• 26 times I was trusted to take the game winning shot, and missed
• I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life


It had a picture of Michael Jordan on it.

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