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"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great - great - great - grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bedwetters. We hold these truths to be self evident; that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON - Rights."

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - - not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of pubil housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make your self useful.

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiots created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, ENGLISH is our language. Learn it or go back to where ever you came from! ( lastly. . .) NOW. .

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, . . . .TOUGH ! ! ! !
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming... Wow, What a ride!!"
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This reminds me of the Capitol One ads, "In order to collect rewards you must slay four dragons, the tail must accompany the head to prove that you slayed a dragon, not just a large lizard, but you have qualified to marry my daughter."

Or the story of the brother who promised, "if you make my bed every day for a year you will have earned the right to sleep in it every day after that." At the end of the year, little brother said, I have made your bed every day for a year, where are you sleeping tonight? only to be told, "In this bed, you get to sleep in it each DAY."

What your bill of rights fails to include, ARTICLE XII: You do not have the right to expect to be treated fairly by anyone.

quote:
Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend.
Do it in the name of heaven, justify it in the end.
There won't be any trumpets blowin' come the judgment day
on the bloody morning after one tin soldier rides away.

"What's in YOUR wallet?"
quote:
Originally posted by EdEKit:
What your bill of rights fails to include, ARTICLE XII: You do not have the right to expect to be treated fairly by anyone.

quote:
Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend.
Do it in the name of heaven, justify it in the end.
There won't be any trumpets blowin' come the judgment day
on the bloody morning after one tin soldier rides away.

"What's in YOUR wallet?"


Fair? The fare comes in September and last a week!

Great song, good memories. Now it will rattle around in my head all day until I remember all the words, or spend hours going thru my 45's to find it and listen . Thanks a lot! Cool
quote:
ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, ENGLISH is our language. Learn it or go back to where ever you came from! ( lastly. . .) NOW. .


I don't have a problem with much of this Bill of non-rights, but I think that we really need to re-think this one.

Yeah, the present 50 states is largely English-speaking, and some states have passed English as official languages. But let's consider history. Several states were originally settled by people who did not speak English. And the people that did that were proud that they didn't, I might add.

The following states had these European- or other-based languages as original languages before the English-speaking tidal wave:

Spanish -- Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, Florida

French -- Louisiana, Indiana, Wisconsin, Missouri, Mississippi, Alabama

Russian -- Alaska

Hawai'ian -- Hawai'i

Insofar as the original settlers were concerned, the English-speakers were parvenu interlopers and undesirables.

Yeah, like Andrew Jackson.

Actually, my remarks are more than trumped by the claims of the original inhabitants: the Native American tribes who were totally shafted out of their land.

[Isn't that what the Trail of Tears is about; not some occasion for rough-tough middle-aged cream puffs to ride noisy motorcycles en masse]

Or, as one Indian observed to another on San Salvador, upon seeing Columbus's landing, "There goes the neighborhood."
quote:
Originally posted by Princess Lum:
quote:
ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, ENGLISH is our language. Learn it or go back to where ever you came from! ( lastly. . .) NOW. .


I don't have a problem with much of this Bill of non-rights, but I think that we really need to re-think this one.

Yeah, the present 50 states is largely English-speaking, and some states have passed English as official languages. But let's consider history. Several states were originally settled by people who did not speak English. And the people that did that were proud that they didn't, I might add.

The following states had these European- or other-based languages as original languages before the English-speaking tidal wave:

Spanish -- Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, Florida

French -- Louisiana, Indiana, Wisconsin, Missouri, Mississippi, Alabama

Russian -- Alaska

Hawai'ian -- Hawai'i

Insofar as the original settlers were concerned, the English-speakers were parvenu interlopers and undesirables.

Yeah, like Andrew Jackson.

Actually, my remarks are more than trumped by the claims of the original inhabitants: the Native American tribes who were totally shafted out of their land.

[Isn't that what the Trail of Tears is about; not some occasion for rough-tough middle-aged cream puffs to ride noisy motorcycles en masse]

Or, as one Indian observed to another on San Salvador, upon seeing Columbus's landing, "There goes the neighborhood."
This is a chuckle maker. Thanks I needed to "LIGHTEN UP."

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