Most of these incidents are not taken too seriously by law enforcement and you already know how the school is handling it. I personally believe that if you really are able to invoke legal remedies, your son will be stigmatized and labeled for the rest of his life. The real solution here is to enroll you son in a really good martial arts program and let him handle the bad guys. I had to do this with my son and it worked really well, even beyong my expectations...so well that I got called to school for a conference due to the way my 10th grader inflicted injury upon a senior (his tormentor).
quote:Originally posted by SHELDIVR:
I personally believe that if you really are able to invoke legal remedies, your son will be stigmatized and labeled for the rest of his life. The real solution here is to enroll you son in a really good martial arts program and let him handle the bad guys. I had to do this with my son and it worked really well, even beyong my expectations...so well that I got called to school for a conference due to the way my 10th grader inflicted injury upon a senior (his tormentor).
Sheldivr is right. Teach your son to hit kids to teach kids that it's not right to hit kids.
When it comes to the "eye for an eye" beat up the bully to teach him a lesson all us adults need to remember that school today is far different that the school we went to. In today's times the kids that are bullied as seventh and eighth graders are the kids that come to school armed and shooting the bullies as juniors and seniors. Telling your child to not back down and defend hinself is one thing, telling him/her to use a pad lock in a sock or enrolling them in martial arts class because of a bully is sending the wrong message.
Kim, I still wish you would have named the school. I would have bet the principal would have been flooded with calls about allowing bullying in his/her school today. With it being just a few weeks since the ruckus in Waynesboro middle school locker room that was in the paper I'd think it would be on everyones mind. Everyone is right about keeping your cool, just don't let them talk down to you as I'm sure they will try and do.
Kim, I still wish you would have named the school. I would have bet the principal would have been flooded with calls about allowing bullying in his/her school today. With it being just a few weeks since the ruckus in Waynesboro middle school locker room that was in the paper I'd think it would be on everyones mind. Everyone is right about keeping your cool, just don't let them talk down to you as I'm sure they will try and do.
I was telling my husband earlier tonight that it's interesting how so many people on this forum all have different personalities, morals, etc..but the unity on this subject matter is incredible. I'm glad to know that we all still have one thing in common, and that's the well being of our children. Thanks for that.
Print this thread , take it with you , show it to them , tell them you have no problem taking it to the t.v news station, you have the community behind you on this . 
quote:Originally posted by BarryD:quote:Originally posted by SHELDIVR:
I personally believe that if you really are able to invoke legal remedies, your son will be stigmatized and labeled for the rest of his life. The real solution here is to enroll you son in a really good martial arts program and let him handle the bad guys. I had to do this with my son and it worked really well, even beyong my expectations...so well that I got called to school for a conference due to the way my 10th grader inflicted injury upon a senior (his tormentor).
Sheldivr is right. Teach your son to hit kids to teach kids that it's not right to hit kids.
I'm not sure if your being sarcastic or not,but if you are you are way off base.Martal Arts and other self defense classes don't just teach you to hit kids;they also teach self discipline and knowing when it is time to fight back.So I'd a heck of alot rather teach my son how to fight back and defend himself rather than let him be a punching bag for the bullies in school.
Those of you who keep advocating that the kid retaliate need to realize as someone else pointed out that school today is vastly different than when we were students. Even if you are defending yourself, you get the same punishment as the aggressor--which is seriously flawed in my opinion. When I taught at Bradshaw (9th graders) I had a situation that still gnaws at me. Two boys who generally got along were just picking at each other--verbally. I don't even remember what it was about--they were just kind of one-upping each other with stupid comments. One of them did over-react, but I thought I had the situation under control. Unfortunately, when the bell rang and the students filed into the hall, the one who over-reacted just hauled off and sucker-punched the other kid--who defended himself. They were both hauled to the office. I was called in and had to defend my actions of not calling an administrator--which if I had it to do over, I would have. But the kicker--the kid who hit back, he was in the band. The band was going to Disney World for a competition in a few months. He was not allow to go for this fight--even though he was only defending himself. This was a boy from humble cirmustances whose family could not afford such a luxury. It broke my heart, I pleaded for the punishment to be lifted, but it wasn't. To this day, I feel sick to my stomach when I think of this.
quote:Originally posted by Sleepyshoals:
Those of you who keep advocating that the kid retaliate need to realize as someone else pointed out that school today is vastly different than when we were students. Even if you are defending yourself, you get the same punishment as the aggressor--which is seriously flawed in my opinion. When I taught at Bradshaw (9th graders) I had a situation that still gnaws at me. Two boys who generally got along were just picking at each other--verbally. I don't even remember what it was about--they were just kind of one-upping each other with stupid comments. One of them did over-react, but I thought I had the situation under control. Unfortunately, when the bell rang and the students filed into the hall, the one who over-reacted just hauled off and sucker-punched the other kid--who defended himself. They were both hauled to the office. I was called in and had to defend my actions of not calling an administrator--which if I had it to do over, I would have. But the kicker--the kid who hit back, he was in the band. The band was going to Disney World for a competition in a few months. He was not allow to go for this fight--even though he was only defending himself. This was a boy from humble cirmustances whose family could not afford such a luxury. It broke my heart, I pleaded for the punishment to be lifted, but it wasn't. To this day, I feel sick to my stomach when I think of this.
And that is a perfect example of why schools are so fudged up today.In this politically correct world the victim is punished just as bad if not worse than the perpetrator for defending his self.While I wouldn't want my son to get in trouble,I would much rather him be suspended a few days than in the ER bruised up by some bully because he was afraid of getting in trouble at school and stood their like a tackling dummy.
My son became very proficient with his martial arts training but the Korean man who taught him also taught ethics and values and despite my initial concerns, my son did not become a bully.
Incidentally, the bully that waw two years his senior ended up wanting to be his friend and certainly was not a bully once he had the opportunity to view this power thing from the other side.
Incidentally, the bully that waw two years his senior ended up wanting to be his friend and certainly was not a bully once he had the opportunity to view this power thing from the other side.
Kim: How did your meeting go at school today? If you want to tell us if not we understand. Hope all went well and hope all is well with your son.
]I think tonight will be the first time since Friday that I'll be able to sleep all night. Good news, we decided to go see the superintendent,Mr. Valentine instead of wasting more of our time with the principal. I was really impressed by his genuine concern. He agreed that while adults don't feel comfortable in the locker rooms while the kids are dressing out, they can still be monitored. He told us he would have the teacher/coach walk in and out several times.He was going to call the principal to see if this brat had a record for causing trouble. If this wasn't his first offense, he was going to send him home for a couple of days with zeros.
We also asked him to convey to the brats parents, that if he touches our son again, they will need to post his bond. Mr. Valentine agreed and stated he didn't blame us.
I don't want anybody to make this a political issue, but we were very impressed with him. We stayed with him for 1 1/2 hours, and after the first 5 minutes, I knew that we could trust him with our son.
Hope that all of you had a pleasant day and again thanks for all of your support.
Kimberly
We also asked him to convey to the brats parents, that if he touches our son again, they will need to post his bond. Mr. Valentine agreed and stated he didn't blame us.
I don't want anybody to make this a political issue, but we were very impressed with him. We stayed with him for 1 1/2 hours, and after the first 5 minutes, I knew that we could trust him with our son.
Hope that all of you had a pleasant day and again thanks for all of your support.
Kimberly
I am so glad you decided to go this route! Hopefully, Mr. Valentine will get some positive results! At the very least there will now be more supervision.
Kim: Good for you. I'm glad you decided to go talk to Mr. Valentine. I really think if this child has a history of trouble he will get the principal to do something. I'm glad that you were able to rest easier. Hope things improve for your son.
You'd be surprised how many of these "repeat" offenders are sent to ISS over and over again. At my school, the same kids are sent there week after week. You'd think that someone would send them home after 1 or 2 times and let the parents deal with them. I believe every school should have a system where a student gets two trips max to ISS. Any infractions after that would result in suspension and alternative school.
Maybe this time this kid will be sent home for Out of School Suspension. (OSS) That's what Kim said Mr. Valentine told her would happen if this child had been in trouble before. But you know if he has attacked other kids and they haven't reported it he may not have been in trouble for fighting. We have got to make it ok for children to report this abuse. In elementary our couselors are doing bully programs with the children to teach them that it is ok to report problems but somewhere along the way peer pressure stops them from reporting it to teachers, principals and/or parents. This has got to change.
I think It's important to remember that most of the school shootings in the country have come about as a result of bullying. Either kids who were bullied, or kids who were bullies. This has to end. Start holding your school's administration accountable.
One way or another, put the bully in the hospital. Let him know it's because of his behavior, but not on whose behalf.
It works. Permanently.
Repeat on others as necessary.
DF
It works. Permanently.
Repeat on others as necessary.
DF
Deepfat , 
good answer.
good answer.
Kimberleehel....I'm really glad that you went to speak with Valentine. Seems like everything worked out for the good. How's things been going for your son since then?
My son said things are going great!! They now send the kids to the locker room in 2 groups... making sure that the bully wasn't in his group...He stated that the bully and other kids seemed to treat him with more respect. Too bad he had to go through HELL to earn it. Only time will tell....
Great! 
I'll keep praying that things work out for him.
I'll keep praying that things work out for him.
Glad things are going better for your son. Hope it continues. I'm glad your visit with Mr. V. really came through for you and your son.