How about we start focusing on the abuser? I mean, you can run to Safe Place for 30 days or whatever, but then you have to go back home, or go somewhere. The problem is too many men (not all) view women as property.
Hard as it is to believe, there are a lot of men out there who sympathize with OJ because he came upon Nicole possibly “cavorting” with another man (Ron Goldman); so, to some, this justifies his rage (and her murder). Forget the fact that they were divorced and also forget the fact that she’s a human being, NOT HIS PROPERTY, some men just don’t get it.
I think women are so reluctant to trust law enforcement because the majority of cops are men, and men are just not as good as women at picking up on subtle cues about feelings, etc. For example, if a female officer responds to a domestic dispute call, I would imagine her words, tone of voice, facial expressions would emit sympathy and support, whereas a male officer would just stick to the facts of what happened.
This is not to say that a male officer can’t be sympathetic; there’s just a difference between men and women when it comes to what’s communicated, and it matters.
Sometimes, bad information just gets handed down. For instance, there are actually people who exist that don’t think it’s a crime - or I should say even possible - for a husband to rape his wife, even though it’s a felony in all fifty states.
And in addition to the property misconception, many men are – please don’t get too angry at me for this guys, ‘cause it’s true – needy, much more so, in general, than women.
So when a woman tells a needy man she’s leaving him, he can’t take it; often, he goes nuts. Then here come the threats, the abuse escalates, and sometimes it all leads to murder. However, when a man tells a woman he’s leaving her, she usually gets down on herself, cries many days and nights and leans on her friends for support, but she gets over it.
I don’t have any statistics, but have read many places where men are much more likely than women to be lonely after a divorce/death of a spouse and are, therefore, much more likely to remarry.
Women, on the other hand, can make it alone. After my grandfather died, my grandmother never even considered remarrying simply because she didn’t want to get married again. She lived another 35+ years after his death as a widow, and was quite happy and content.
I just think we need to start looking more at prevention. Maybe a good start would be for dads (especially) to instill in their sons at an early age that people aren’t property.
(I just want to say for the record that I have nothing against men; I'm married to one. And I do realize that there are women abusers/stalkers out there, but the majority of them are in fact men.)