Great Quotations

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree . . . and think 25
to life would be appropriate. Leno

America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. Leno

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
Conan O'Brien

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A : A fund raiser. Leno

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society.
The other is for housing prisoners. Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean, and
it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America! Fallon

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers. Kimmel

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. Letterman
Original Post
“I don’t know if you have seen this. It’s everywhere. They have a controversial photo of Barack Obama wearing a turban. It’s been circulating on the Internet. Yeah, the turban photo should help Obama with a key group of voters, the New York taxi drivers.” –Conan O’Brien



“According to a new report by a genealogy company, Barack Obama’s great-great-great-grandfather was born in Ireland. Yeah, that should really solidify Obama’s support among Irish African-Americans raised in Hawaii.” –Conan O’Brien



“Vice President Dick Cheney’s wife, Lynne Cheney, said that Barack Obama and Dick Cheney are related. She said they are actually eighth cousins. … Lynne Cheney says that Obama and Dick Cheney’s connection was the result of one of Obama’s ancestors marrying one of Cheney’s ancestors in 1650. Even more interesting, you know who introduced them
in 1650? Bob Dole.” –Jay Leno



“Did you all see Barack Obama and Hillary last night at that debate? Did you see them sitting side by side, staring at the camera? They looked like one of those bad local eyewitness news teams. ‘Let’s go to Barack for the weather. Thank you, Hillary.’” –Jay Leno

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