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I've been to a lot of funerals over the years. I've heard Pastor's speak the truth when preaching someone's eulogy. I've heard a Pastor lie, trying to make the dead sound better than they actually were. Just because the dead claimed to be a Christian, said pastor would make them sound like a saint when everyone there knew that person was far from a Christian & certainly not a saint.

 

I've been giving this a lot of thought since I will go to Hell when I die. (if such a place exist & my family believes that it does) If it were entirely up to me, I would be cremated & no service whatsoever, not even a notice of death in the paper. But I have family to think of & what their wishes are. I wouldn't want my family hurt because whoever speaks at my funeral said I was going to Hell. But I wouldn't want that person to lie, to make me into something I wasn't.

 

When it's time for your funeral, how do your want your eulogy to be given? Do you want the truth to be spoken or made to sound better than you actually were? I'm curious who will speak at your funeral if you're an Atheist, & what you would want that person to say?

 

I'm thinking of planning my eulogy, who will speak it, & what they are to say. Meeting with this person who I would want to speak would save heartache & decisions for my family. Do you believe it's wrong for someone to plan their own eulogy?

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Hi Chick,

 

The hardest funeral for a Christian pastor to officiate is that of a non-believer.   A truly Christian pastor could not  stand before the family and friends and tell them this person was a believer -- when most would know that is not true.  But, a true Christian pastor would NEVER stand before the family and friends and tell them this person has gone to hell, even though he, himself, will believe that is true.  A funeral message in such a case would have to be generic, comforting the family, buy not lying to them that their loved one is in heaven.

 

But, to be quite honest -- only God and that person really knows the truth.  So, the pastor CANNOT say that the deceased is in hell -- for he cannot now for sure.  In many cases, where the person has declared himself/herself to be an atheist or other flavor of non-believer, we just have to accept his/her self evaluation.  Yet, even in such cases, the pastor still should not declare that person to be in hell.  That would be too cruel to the family.

 

Of course, the question also comes up:  "Why would an atheist have a pastor speaking at his/her funeral service?"   This would happen when the family asks a pastor to officiate -- and the pastor should do it out of respect for the family.

 

The funeral of a believer is a celebration.  Yes, there is mourning, for we always mourn the loss of that loved one in our lives -- but, we also celebrate his/her Home Going to be with our Lord.  So, there is sadness -- but, there are also lots of smiles, happiness, and fellowship at a believer's funeral.  For, although we will miss that person in our lives here on earth -- we KNOW that we will see him/her again in heaven one day, in pure happiness and joy.

 

On the other hand, the funeral of a non-believer must always be a very sad event; for those family members and friends who are believers know they will NEVER see that person, whom they love in spite of his/her non-believe, again.  Fortunately, I have never had to attend the funeral of a non-believer.

 

Correction, I did attend the funeral of a Muslim friend about ten years ago.  He died of a heart attack at the age of 49.   And, the funeral was really sad.  The family were all weeping and wailing; for their Muslim faith does not offer them any assurances.  It cannot, for they do not have Jesus Christ in their hearts.  That was truly a sad day.

 

In closing, let me share a somewhat amusing story about a funeral I attended about 8 or 9 years ago.  A family who had been Roman Catholic joined our church.  First, it was the mom and two sons who became believers at a Bible study.  Then, the two young sons witnessed to their dad and he came into our church.   Soon, the dad brought his brother and his family to our church.  Then, both brothers brought their mom, Connie, to our church.

 

In our church, Connie received Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior.  About a year later, she found she had cancer -- and in another year she passed from this life into heaven.

 

Because some of the siblings were still in the Roman Catholic church, and out of consideration for them, the funeral service was held in a Roman Catholic church.  Then, we went to the burial site at a local cemetery where the Roman Catholic priest gave a message and then left.  And, then our Baptist pastor came and gave a message at the graveside.

 

The funny incident I mentioned is that when the priest gave his message (and our pastor was not there yet), he spoke of Connie being in purgatory -- which has to be a horrible thing to believe about your mother.

 

But, after the priest had given his purgatory message and left -- about five minutes later our pastor came and began his message with, "Beloved, we mourn our loss of Connie.  But, we also celebrate her life -- for we know that she received Christ as her Lord and Savior.  And, because we know that -- we KNOW that Connie is standing with our Lord Jesus Christ right now in heaven.  The moment Connie breathed her last breath in her mortal body -- her next breath was in heaven with Jesus Christ."

 

With the purgatory words of the priest still ringing in our ears -- we now had the Truth being shared with us -- that our beloved Christian sister, Connie, was standing with Jesus Christ as we spoke.  Praise the Lord!

 

When Pastor Ed spoke those word, not knowing what the priest had said earlier -- Dory and I looked at each other and smiled.   Later, I shared with our pastor how perfect his words had been under those circumstances, sharing with him what the priest had told the family.

 

Chick, that is the kind of feeling a believer has when a believing loved one dies -- we mourn for a period, but we celebrate much more.  Wouldn't you want your family to have that same assurance and comfort when you leave this world some day?

 

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

 

Bill

Last edited by Bill Gray
Originally Posted by semiannualchick:

I've been to a lot of funerals over the years. I've heard Pastor's speak the truth when preaching someone's eulogy. I've heard a Pastor lie, trying to make the dead sound better than they actually were. Just because the dead claimed to be a Christian, said pastor would make them sound like a saint when everyone there knew that person was far from a Christian & certainly not a saint.

 

I've been giving this a lot of thought since I will go to Hell when I die. (if such a place exist & my family believes that it does) If it were entirely up to me, I would be cremated & no service whatsoever, not even a notice of death in the paper. But I have family to think of & what their wishes are. I wouldn't want my family hurt because whoever speaks at my funeral said I was going to Hell. But I wouldn't want that person to lie, to make me into something I wasn't.

 

When it's time for your funeral, how do your want your eulogy to be given? Do you want the truth to be spoken or made to sound better than you actually were? I'm curious who will speak at your funeral if you're an Atheist, & what you would want that person to say?

 

I'm thinking of planning my eulogy, who will speak it, & what they are to say. Meeting with this person who I would want to speak would save heartache & decisions for my family. Do you believe it's wrong for someone to plan their own eulogy?

I see nothing wrong with planning one's own eulogy or the funeral itself.
Sounds like a good way to take the edge off a sad time anyway. It also could

be a very good time to get in the Last word.

 

Originally Posted by INVICTUS:
Originally Posted by semiannualchick:

I've been to a lot of funerals over the years. I've heard Pastor's speak the truth when preaching someone's eulogy. I've heard a Pastor lie, trying to make the dead sound better than they actually were. Just because the dead claimed to be a Christian, said pastor would make them sound like a saint when everyone there knew that person was far from a Christian & certainly not a saint.

 

I've been giving this a lot of thought since I will go to Hell when I die. (if such a place exist & my family believes that it does) If it were entirely up to me, I would be cremated & no service whatsoever, not even a notice of death in the paper. But I have family to think of & what their wishes are. I wouldn't want my family hurt because whoever speaks at my funeral said I was going to Hell. But I wouldn't want that person to lie, to make me into something I wasn't.

 

When it's time for your funeral, how do your want your eulogy to be given? Do you want the truth to be spoken or made to sound better than you actually were? I'm curious who will speak at your funeral if you're an Atheist, & what you would want that person to say?

 

I'm thinking of planning my eulogy, who will speak it, & what they are to say. Meeting with this person who I would want to speak would save heartache & decisions for my family. Do you believe it's wrong for someone to plan their own eulogy?

I see nothing wrong with planning one's own eulogy or the funeral itself.
Sounds like a good way to take the edge off a sad time anyway. It also could

be a very good time to get in the Last word.

 

I agree went to a funeral the other day and it was clear the preacher did not know the person and took the time to give a hour sermon.   This man knew he did not have long and I would have taped what I wanted to say to my friends and family include the scripture and hymns I wanted and I am also leaning towards cremation.  I do not see the requirement to have a preacher nor is it bad to have one if you like but I do not like when the preacher starts giving a sermon and no eulogy.

I've been to several Baptist funerals over the years and all the preachers were concerned about was people going to hell, and I'm talking about those in attendance. Very little was said about the deceased.

So, if I was you I would plan my own service to avoid the risk of having a fire and brimstone message thrown at your mourners.

Semi, you aren't going to hell when you die, hell doesn't exist. Think about it, it is your funeral, your last wishes, so you get to decide what you want. As invictus posted, you get the last word. Yes, I've noticed that funerals, instead of being only about the deceased, have become little "mini-sermons" for the preachers to give to their "captive" audience. To me, that's disrespectful. 

Originally Posted by HIFLYER2:
Originally Posted by INVICTUS:
Originally Posted by semiannualchick:

I've been to a lot of funerals over the years. I've heard Pastor's speak the truth when preaching someone's eulogy. I've heard a Pastor lie, trying to make the dead sound better than they actually were. Just because the dead claimed to be a Christian, said pastor would make them sound like a saint when everyone there knew that person was far from a Christian & certainly not a saint.

 

I've been giving this a lot of thought since I will go to Hell when I die. (if such a place exist & my family believes that it does) If it were entirely up to me, I would be cremated & no service whatsoever, not even a notice of death in the paper. But I have family to think of & what their wishes are. I wouldn't want my family hurt because whoever speaks at my funeral said I was going to Hell. But I wouldn't want that person to lie, to make me into something I wasn't.

 

When it's time for your funeral, how do your want your eulogy to be given? Do you want the truth to be spoken or made to sound better than you actually were? I'm curious who will speak at your funeral if you're an Atheist, & what you would want that person to say?

 

I'm thinking of planning my eulogy, who will speak it, & what they are to say. Meeting with this person who I would want to speak would save heartache & decisions for my family. Do you believe it's wrong for someone to plan their own eulogy?

I see nothing wrong with planning one's own eulogy or the funeral itself.
Sounds like a good way to take the edge off a sad time anyway. It also could

be a very good time to get in the Last word.

 

I agree went to a funeral the other day and it was clear the preacher did not know the person and took the time to give a hour sermon.   This man knew he did not have long and I would have taped what I wanted to say to my friends and family include the scripture and hymns I wanted and I am also leaning towards cremation.  I do not see the requirement to have a preacher nor is it bad to have one if you like but I do not like when the preacher starts giving a sermon and no eulogy.

------

When my Mom died about a year ago, when I talked to the preacher, I told him I wanted an eulogy , and a few comments. I also specified that I wanted it short, and it was to be about her and not a sermon.
He preached a very nice funeral, exactly what I had ask for.
If you ask a preacher for what you want, I think most of them will comply - if you just leave it open for whatever they want to do, you may wind up with a good funeral or  with a sermon.

I have attended both types.

Hi all,

 

About 5 years ago, a young Christian Friend, mid-30s, who had just finished getting her nursing RN degree the year before, was diagnosed with cancer.  She died a year later.   Two days before she passed she asked a friend to shoot a video of her.

 

Gina was a beautiful young lady.  And, except for the scarf she wore because chemo had taken her hair -- you would not have known she was ill.   In the video, she looked beautiful, vibrant, and spoke well.

 

What was the purpose of the video she wanted to shoot?  She knew she was terminal, although I am not sure she knew it would happen in just two more days.  In the video she wanted to leave a message for people telling them about her love for Jesus Christ; she wanted to share the Gospel for those left behind.

 

I can relate to that, for when my mom passed in 1994 my step-father, who was in a cult church, had his cult pastor give the message.  I wanted to speak and share the Gospel, but, at that time I was too new a believer and did not have the confidence to do it.  So, I sat there while this cult pastor shared his erroneous messege.

 

Within a year of mom's funeral, 6 people, relatives, who were there that day -- died or were killed.  What bothers me most is that I do not know if they were believers when they died unexpectedly.   That hurts, for I could have told them about Jesus, His love for them, and how easy it is to have His promise of eternal life -- but, I did not.  God gave me the perfect opportunity, and I blew it.   At that time, I promised myself that I would never let such an opportunity slip away again.

 

So, back to Gina.  Her video was played at her Memorial Service and I loved it.  After the service, I told her husband and their pastor, "That video was the absolute best Gospel sermon I have ever heard."   So, my Friends, if that is the kind of eulogy you want to leave behind -- go for it.

 

However, if all you want to leave behind is a final denial of God -- think twice, for you will be like the rich man in Luke 16:19-31 when he asked Abraham, "Then I beg you, father (Abraham), that you send him (Lazarus) to my father's house --  for I have five brothers -- in order that he may warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment"  (Luke 16:27-28).

 

It may be too late for the one who denies God -- but, at that point he/she will most certainly not want to see loved ones follows in his/her footsteps.   Think about it!

 

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

 

Bill

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Semi, I think it's a great idea to plan your own eulogy or anything else too. I've been thinking about doing that too. I used to work with a man that wrote his own obit. He wanted to be sure the truth was told about himself. And I sure wouldn't want to leave it up to you know who. I'm not a big fan of visitation either. I would make it only for family, and then a short prayer at the burial site.

 

Seeweed, sorry about your Mom.

Ditto Weed,

 

I’ve been to those hell fire and brimstone funerals.  I guess it’s what the family wanted otherwise preaching a sermon rather than delivering a eulogy can be disrespectful.

 

There are times when the preacher doesn’t know the deceased very well.  Such was the case with my daddy.  He was one of the charter members of the church.  He helped build it both physically and spiritually.  Yet because my church is built on the circuit rider concept, rotating preachers every 4 years or so, it’s hard for preachers to get to know their parishioners who are shut in or in ill health as my daddy was.  So when he passed, the preacher came to the family for a sense of what sort of man he was.  And he delivered the sort of service that I can imagine Weed’s mother received.  The family was most happy.

 

And we had a little fun with it as well.  Daddy was an Auburn grad.  I requested the last song be sung was "On Jordan’s Stormy Banks" Jordan being pronounced as in Jordan-Hare.  Plus, as the casket was rolled out of the sanctuary, the congregation sang the chorus "Oh, who will come and go with me?  I’m bound for the promised land."  I think he would have liked that.

 

Funerals needn’t be so sad especially if we truly believe.  Contrary to popular myth, we Protestants can hold a pretty good wake.

 

Semi, if you plan your own eulogy right down to who is going to give it and what they are to say, then aren’t going to be remembered for what you thought of yourself?  I mean for better or worse.  Yes, I think folks should write their own obit to get the facts straight.  It will help future genealogists.

 

As far as the deceased having the last word, that ain’t necessarily so.  There are urns full of ashes and inheritances in the hands of family members still fighting over what to do with them and not honoring the last wishes.

 

Morbid as it may sound, I’ve taken care of my details ... cemetery, casket, headstone, obit to date, even who will conduct the service.  All they’ll have to do is dig the hole.

 

I just hope they don’t bury me on the day of the Iron Bowl.

 

Or naked atheist pig mud hole jumping.

Originally Posted by budsfarm:

Semi, if you plan your own eulogy right down to who is going to give it and what they are to say, then aren’t going to be remembered for what you thought of yourself?  I mean for better or worse. 

_______

I prefer my eulogy to be simple. My name, survivors, immediate family members that's deceased already. Mention that my husband, children/grandchildren were the joy of my life, & how proud I was to have them in my life. That's it, short & simple. No need to mention I am no longer saved, & going to Hell. (IF it exist)

Cremate me, & throw my ashes in the garbage.

Originally Posted by semiannualchick:
Originally Posted by budsfarm:

Semi, if you plan your own eulogy right down to who is going to give it and what they are to say, then aren’t going to be remembered for what you thought of yourself?  I mean for better or worse. 

_______

I prefer my eulogy to be simple. My name, survivors, immediate family members that's deceased already. Mention that my husband, children/grandchildren were the joy of my life, & how proud I was to have them in my life. That's it, short & simple. No need to mention I am no longer saved, & going to Hell. (IF it exist)

Cremate me, & throw my ashes in the garbage.

 

+++

 

 

The story has been told of a retired atheist professor who passed away some years ago. Even though he kept up with some family tradition (and probably had some private religious service out of tradition), he didn't see the need for a real funeral service. His public funeral was held in the chapel of a local mortuary.

 

It was widely reported that those who had humorous anecdotes to relate about the deceased were asked to come to the front and speak. The chapel was rocking with laughter when the wife of the owner passed by. The story is always told that she "burst in," to see what was going on, but I'm hoping she was polite enough to have just peeked in. I never heard if she approved or disapproved...not that it was her place to do so.

Originally Posted by semiannualchick:
Originally Posted by budsfarm:

Why not donate your remains to the UAB medical school? 

They can use it for science and cremate your remains for free.  That way you’ll save your family some expense and make a contribution.

_____

I didn't know that. I'll have to give that serious consideration.

What about the necrophiles. Be careful out there.

Originally Posted by Kate Colombo:

Why not the body farm in Knoxville? It does great work.

 

HiFlyer, not sure of the cost, but how about sending up part of your remains into space? I have known someone locally who wound up in at the body farm, but no one personally who has taken the space route. Pretty cool, I would think.

Love to go to space alive!!!

Originally Posted by INVICTUS:
Originally Posted by semiannualchick:
Originally Posted by budsfarm:

Why not donate your remains to the UAB medical school? 

They can use it for science and cremate your remains for free.  That way you’ll save your family some expense and make a contribution.

_____

I didn't know that. I'll have to give that serious consideration.

What about the necrophiles. Be careful out there.

 

+++

 

Invictus is right!  Keep your eyes open and watch your six! 

 

Originally Posted by Kate Colombo:

Why not the body farm in Knoxville? It does great work.

 

HiFlyer, not sure of the cost, but how about sending up part of your remains into space? I have known someone locally who wound up in at the body farm, but no one personally who has taken the space route. Pretty cool, I would think.

 

+++

 

I'd thought about the body farm.  Have some experience with it, but basically it's all about decomposition factors.  The same can be duplicated with pigs.

 

But if I were to be cremated, load me into 12 gauge shotgun shells and launch me on opening day dove season.

 

Hiflyer, you want to go into space, don't wait for your ride, do what Yeager did.

 

Semi, most of the atheist people that I know does not mention heaven or hell. A real true athiest only believe that when they die, it's the end. As far as funerals goes most of them is when people come together, I have always said this if you can't come to see me when I am alive, don't come see me when I am gone.

Originally Posted by budsfarm:
Originally Posted by Kate Colombo:

Why not the body farm in Knoxville? It does great work.

 

HiFlyer, not sure of the cost, but how about sending up part of your remains into space? I have known someone locally who wound up in at the body farm, but no one personally who has taken the space route. Pretty cool, I would think.

 

+++

 

I'd thought about the body farm.  Have some experience with it, but basically it's all about decomposition factors.  The same can be duplicated with pigs.

 

But if I were to be cremated, load me into 12 gauge shotgun shells and launch me on opening day dove season.

 

Hiflyer, you want to go into space, don't wait for your ride, do what Yeager did.

 

Cannot convince FedEx to get rockets instead of planes and too old to enlist.

Originally Posted by Dove of Peace:
Originally Posted by budsfarm:
Originally Posted by Kate Colombo:

.............

But if I were to be cremated, load me into 12 gauge shotgun shells and launch me on opening day dove season.

 ..............

And what, pray tell, do you have against lil' ole me?

 

+++

 

Usually bacon.

 

Dove ******* wrapped in bacon.

 

 

Originally Posted by HIFLYER2:
Originally Posted by budsfarm:
Originally Posted by Kate Colombo:

Why not the body farm in Knoxville? It does great work.

 

HiFlyer, not sure of the cost, but how about sending up part of your remains into space? I have known someone locally who wound up in at the body farm, but no one personally who has taken the space route. Pretty cool, I would think.

 

+++

 

I'd thought about the body farm.  Have some experience with it, but basically it's all about decomposition factors.  The same can be duplicated with pigs.

 

But if I were to be cremated, load me into 12 gauge shotgun shells and launch me on opening day dove season.

 

Hiflyer, you want to go into space, don't wait for your ride, do what Yeager did.

 

Cannot convince FedEx to get rockets instead of planes and too old to enlist.

 

+++

 

Not so much the Bell X-1, but the scene from The Right Stuff when, as the Mercury 7 are making space flights, a frustrated Yeager "borrows" a jet and takes it to the edge of space.  It was in the movie, so it had to be true.  Right?

 

Yeager is the exception to the axiom "There are old pilots and there are bold pilots.  But there are no old, bold pilots," isn't he?  Does he still fly?

 

Originally Posted by budsfarm:

 

Yeager is the exception to the axiom "There are old pilots and there are bold pilots.  But there are no old, bold pilots," isn't he?  Does he still fly?

 



chuck yeager is the exception to a huge list of rules and axioms. one of my personal heroes.

as for dead me... there are a couple of places i found on the internet who will come get your body, use everything they can for science and research n stuff, cremate the rest and send the rest back to your family, all for free... unless you want a fancy urn. the urns cost, but just a baggie fulla ashes do not.

other than that, i want a wake. a gathering of my nearest and dearest, or even people who hated me, gathered to celebrate my life and talk smack about me and some of the stupid stuff i did. 
no service, or eulogy or preacher guy spouting words over a dead guy they didn't really know. that's just silly to me.
just a party, with lots of good music, some nachos, and things. also, required 2 drink minimum at the door - meaning you have to take 2 shots of either glenfiddich* or bushmills to get in. 
(i know it's sacrilege to do shots of single malt, and you're welcome to sip it at the door, but you have to drink two to get in, and shots are faster)

*if you have a preferred brand of single malt, you may bring it instead - i plan on being as reasonable a corpse as i can be. but blended whiskeys and bourbons not acceptable. must be a single malt scotch. even dead people have standards.

I've been to many atheist funerals , they are all alike the family has some preacher say words over them and send th right on in to heaven and I've never seen the first corpse protest being sent there. It is the same with professed xtians.
Semi I would be glad to say a few words if I. Outlive you. Just let me know if you want to go to heaven or hell.

Yeager fans,

 

Did you know that his "likeness" is the only living American to be featured on a US postage stamp?

 

I have one pasted on the front piece inside his biography and against USAF regs, accompanied me on my F16 flight.  I begged the pilot to break the sound barrier but the most he would do is tickle the SB and let me take the stick and fly the aircraft including a couple of sequential barrel rolls.

 

Dammit!

 

https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&sclient=psy-ab&q=yeager+image+on+stamp&btnG=

 

 

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