If God Texted the 10 Commandments

Jesus, he uses an Iphone!

Hi all,

Well, one thing we know for sure -- and these two post absolutely confirm: NO ONE CAN ACCUSE ATHEISTS OF HAVING ANY CLASS.

Well, I guess this works out okay; it gives us the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

The Good: Christian believers.

The Bad: Those who have not yet believed.

The Ugly: Atheists who make such no class posts.

Y'all come on back now, ya heah?

Bill

quote:

Originally posted by Bill Gray:
Hi all,

Well, one thing we know for sure -- and these two post absolutely confirm: NO ONE CAN ACCUSE ATHEISTS OF HAVING ANY CLASS.

Well, I guess this works out okay; it gives us the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

The Good: Christian believers.

The Bad: Those who have not yet believed.

The Ugly: Atheists who make such no class posts.

Y'all come on back now, ya heah?

Bill

That attitude will win you a lot of souls.

quote:

Originally posted by Zombie 9tails:
That attitude will win you a lot of souls.

Hi Zombie,

You are funny, my Friend. You deny the Bible and God; you prefer to stand with the atheists -- even though you have not officially declared where you stand.

And, you are concerned about me winning the souls of your brother atheists? Give me a break! You could care less. You just want to argue -- and that makes you a perfect fit for your atheist Friends. That is the atheists' sole purpose for being on the Religion Forum -- to argue.

If we Christians say it is day; you will say it is night. If we say it is night; you will argue it is day. You have no other purpose in life. But, please do let us know if and when you ever REALLY do get concerned about saving souls.

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill

quote:

Originally posted by Bill Gray:
Hi Zombie,

You are funny, my Friend. You deny the Bible and God; you prefer to stand with the atheists -- even though you have not officially declared where you stand.

And, you are concerned about me winning the souls of your brother atheists? Give me a break! You could care less. You just want to argue -- and that makes you a perfect fit for your atheist Friends. That is the atheists' sole purpose for being on the Religion Forum -- to argue.

If we Christians say it is day; you will say it is night. If we say it is night; you will argue it is day. You have no other purpose in life. But, please do let us know if and when you ever REALLY do get concerned about saving souls.

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill

Actually Bill
I am here for the comedy. Reading your long winded pointless posts about raptures and brimstone and fire are comical. While arguing is a by-product of pointing out how ridiculous your claims are, it is not the purpose of being here. (Thus saying we are all alike but somehow you are individuals)

You are very very good at lumping all atheists into one big mashed potato pie. And in the same breath you'll say that you are NOT like your god fearing brethren that kill abortion doctors or rape alter boys.

But we don't expect much more from you bill.

You're here for the comedy, too? What a coincidence.

Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here, anyway?" he asked. "This woman was found committing adultery, and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded. "Wait," yelled Jesus. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head. "Aw, c'mon, Dad..." Jesus cried, "I'm trying to make a point here!"

DF

1. I thought the texting was funny. It was accurate to the commandments.

2. Your joke, DF, gives validity to God, Jesus, and the Bible. God IS the only one without sin.

Nice going. You may be converted yet!

quote:

Originally posted by LMM:
God IS the only one without sin.

I dunno. What He did to all those first-born babies was close to the gray area that transition to the edge of sortakinda being mean and spiteful.

But perhaps that's just me.

Yep, that's just you.

L,

If the biblical story of Jephthah does not indicate that god sinned, there is no such thing.

DF

quote:

Originally posted by DeepFat:
L, If the biblical story of Jephthah does not indicate that god sinned, there is no such thing. DF

Hi Deep,

Since you are the Bible authority on the Forum; why don't you give us your interpretation and explanation. Especially of how God has sinned.

I really would like to know your take on this.

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill

quote:

Originally posted by DeepFat:
L,

If the biblical story of Jephthah does not indicate that god sinned, there is no such thing.

DF

I sure Mr. Bill will disagree with me, but since the passage was written in Hebrew, there is very likely a mistranslation. According to one source of authority, she was not sacrificed at all.

E.W.Bullinger (Great Cloud of Witnesses in Hebrew 11 (1911) ISBN 0825422477), looks at the word "and" in the Jephthah’s vow (Judges 11:31: "whatever comes out of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the people of Ammon, shall surely be the Lord's, and I will offer it up as a burnt offering"). As he explains [8] the Hebrew word ו that is translated in the above passage as "and" is often used as a disjunctive, and means "or", when there is a second proposition. Indeed this rendering is suggested in the margin of the A.V. Bullinger goes on to give examples from the Bible where the same word has been translated as "or". According to him, the right translation of this passage is: "whatever comes out of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the people of Ammon, shall surely be the Lord's, or I will offer it up as a burnt offering." Jephthah’s daughter, being the first that came out of the house, was thus, according to Bullinger, dedicated to God. He also says:

"In any case, it should have been unlawful, and repugnant to Jehovah, to offer a human being to Him as a burnt-offering, for His acceptance. Such offerings were common to heathen nations at that time, but it is noteworthy that Israel stands out among them with this great peculiarity, that human sacrifices were unknown in Israel."

Godly love:

"I have wiped out many nations, devastating their fortress walls and towers. Their cities are now deserted; their streets are in silent ruin. There are no survivors to even tell what happened. I thought, 'Surely they will have reverence for me now! Surely they will listen to my warnings, so I won't need to strike again.' But no; however much I punish them, they continue their evil practices from dawn till dusk and dusk till dawn." So now the LORD says: "Be patient; the time is coming soon when I will stand up and accuse these evil nations. For it is my decision to gather together the kingdoms of the earth and pour out my fiercest anger and fury on them. All the earth will be devoured by the fire of my jealousy. "On that day I will purify the lips of all people, so that everyone will be able to worship the LORD together. My scattered people who live beyond the rivers of Ethiopia will come to present their offerings. - Zephaniah 3:6-10

the god of the OT is arguably the most horrific character of all fiction. thank goodness it's not real.


DF

Bill, what's the problem, man? That translation of the 10 Commandments is at least as accurate at the KJV version. You prove, once again, that your Jesus loves you and hates everyone else.

quote:

Originally posted by CrustyMac:
Bill, what's the problem, man? That translation of the 10 Commandments is at least as accurate at the KJV version. You prove, once again, that your Jesus loves you and hates everyone else.

Hi Crusty,

As usual, neither you nor I have any idea what you are trying to say. No habla Englais, y'all?

Y'all come back now, ya heah?

Bill

No podemos leer billes. Son palabaras . . . pero se desarrolan como nada mas que tonteria.

What he said.

I have to admit, they were pretty comical and do get the point across, especially that last part about write this on two tablets and give to people....too funny.

Hey even Christians have a sense of humor!
Which BTW I am sure you are aware of the part in the New Testament where PMS is described?? I read where it says that Mary "rode Joseph's" ass all the way to Bethlehem.... ....sorry couldn't help myself....

quote:

Hey even Christians have a sense of humor!
Which BTW I am sure you are aware of the part in the New Testament where PMS is described?? I read where it says that Mary "rode Joseph's" ass all the way to Bethlehem.... ....sorry couldn't help myself....

That is too, funny!!!!!

quote:

Originally posted by teyates:
I have to admit, they were pretty comical and do get the point across, especially that last part about write this on two tablets and give to people....too funny.

Hey even Christians have a sense of humor!
Which BTW I am sure you are aware of the part in the New Testament where PMS is described?? I read where it says that Mary "rode Joseph's" ass all the way to Bethlehem.... ....sorry couldn't help myself....

You mean...
"Are we there yet?"
"I need to pee."
"Are you sure you know where you're going? Shouldn't you stop and asks for directions?"
"I need to pee."

quote:

You mean...
"Are we there yet?"
"I need to pee."
"Are you sure you know where you're going? Shouldn't you stop and asks for directions?"
"I need to pee."

Zip, that makes the joke more funny to me....