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Originally Posted by bluetick:

Mr. Upside, Sir. I have taken under my wing, the young Hendrix lad, and am determined to teach him the fine nuances of the art of humor. With your permission, sir, I would like to direct my young

student to your above post. I believe he may benefit from careful study of paragraph two. Your description of  the miserable beast that was slaughtered for no apparent reason and presented to you as sustenance was down right brilliant. It was concise and your choice of adjectives was absolutely  beautiful. Those two sentences speak volumes on humor in its purest form. I have no doubt, with your permission, of course, that I shall return to it frequently as a reference for the little tyke.

 

 I am glad indeed that I was not pitted against you in my recent bid for humorist.

I am pleased that the description of that remotely  meat-like product met with your approval.

 

Candor compels me, however, to acknowledge that it was not original with me.  The full description reads as follows: "A strictly non-guaranteed hunk of gristle from an elderly cactus-fed gully jumper."

That was the actual language used on a restaurant menu in Atlanta where I ate in the spring of 1965 while on a temporary job grinding out speeches for persons of far greater note than myself.   It was a tongue-in-cheek description of a rib steak, which I ordered and actually found to be a pretty decent cut.  The restaurant is no longer there on North Peachtree Street; it was somewhere around the 500 block.  The phrase was one that was so compact, catchy and colorful that it has stuck with me all these years. I make no claim to it, so feel free to use it for amusement, educational purposes or for any other reason you might have.

Originally Posted by _Joy_:

semi, unless I've missed it, the group to whom you directed your question...Christian men...did not answer?   Either they've left the forums or something very interesting about human nature is at work...dunno.

 

I'd say protecting your marriage by avoiding hooters, restaurant or otherwise...bahaha, is a good plan.  Just my opinion, but I think(?) the warnings regarding lust in the Bible are a safe-guard for marriage.  Nobody leaves the house thinking "I'm going to commit adultery and destroy my marriage today."  It starts out small and seemingly harmless.  It's a common sense warning...like the warnings about alcohol.  The Bible doesn't forbid the consumption, just warns to not be habitually drunk.  That's a common sense warning to avoid alcoholism.

 

JMHO


Sensible advice...  avoid temptation, and you won't be tempted .

but i can promise the thought of the boudoir bunnyhop with any other woman just simply isn't an option for me.

quite frankly, it has very little to do with her. yes, it would hurt her, and that would be bad and all, but i don't stay faithful for her sake.

i haven't, won't and don't cheat... never have.. never will... for the sake of my own self respect. i'd never be able to look at my face in the mirror again if i ended up no better than all of the other zipper happy idiots out there.

so it doesn't matter if i'm sitting on the front pew, or in the front row of a strip club with with a half dozen different girls rubbin their bare glittered chesticles in my face, i'm not having sex with anyone i'm not married to

 

BUT... yes, i agree in principle, if you don't put yourself in a position to cheat, you can't cheat...

 

it's just that in that respect, i'm the exception to the rule

Originally Posted by wright35633:
 I wish my wife would go to a Chippendale's show so I could get a night away from reality television.


OMG AMEN...

 

 if i have to see one more bloody cupcake show i'm going to stab out betty crocker's eyes with a spork.

 not to mention all the mind-numbing stuff on prime time.. who wants to dance with an amazing  surviving bachelor idol?

i watch ' so you think you can dance' on purpose. i can tolerate ' the voice' but i don't really care. i like 'the sing off' but come on.. xfactor... american's got talent ( i've seen the show.. no we don't.)

the batchelor(ette) ? what's the new one? hot date on hooker island?

in 3 more years the only thing on primetime will be some version of law and order, some version of csi and reality TV.

and i'll have canceled my cable 2 years ago...

 

*closed captioned - this message was previously recorded before a live studio audience.

 

Last edited by The Nagel

It's not a requirement to have large boobs to work at Hooters, they wear gel or water filled bras if lacking in that area, panties with fake butts if that's needed, and the hose are thick and dark. The hose make the legs look tan and firm, hold in the tummy and provide leg support. Makes sense I guess, you wouldn't want to turn down a good waitress if you can fix the "problem" areas.

Big 10-4 on those reality shows.

 

That's NOT reality. Real reality is boring enough without watching scripted reality.

 

Remember the very first (old skool) reality TV shows? The ones imported from Japan with two guys standing on stage repeatedly kicking each other in the huts til one of them fell down?

 

THAT was funny ONCE.

Originally Posted by Jennifer:

It's not a requirement to have large boobs to work at Hooters, they wear gel or water filled bras if lacking in that area, panties with fake butts if that's needed, and the hose are thick and dark. The hose make the legs look tan and firm, hold in the tummy and provide leg support. Makes sense I guess, you wouldn't want to turn down a good waitress if you can fix the "problem" areas.

Wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall when a man takes a "Fake Chick" to bed, & the wrappings start coming off? 

Originally Posted by semiannualchick:
Originally Posted by Jennifer:

It's not a requirement to have large boobs to work at Hooters, they wear gel or water filled bras if lacking in that area, panties with fake butts if that's needed, and the hose are thick and dark. The hose make the legs look tan and firm, hold in the tummy and provide leg support. Makes sense I guess, you wouldn't want to turn down a good waitress if you can fix the "problem" areas.

Wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall when a man takes a "Fake Chick" to bed, & the wrappings start coming off? 


that's why it's called a wonderbra... she puts it on and wonders where they came from, he takes it off and wonders where they went.

 

Originally Posted by semiannualchick:
Originally Posted by wright35633:

I wish my wife would go to a Chippendale's show so I could get a night away from reality television.

  I love reality TV. Maybe another TV in another room?

 

 

Maybe a TV in another house, I've divorced women for less than a reality TV addiction. If the don't maintain a neat house, maintain their original weight or bring some spark into the bedroom, they're history.

Originally Posted by Blind Melon Chit'lin:
Originally Posted by bluehound:

Spark? They probably would rather set fire to it.

 

 

 

Then, get shock treatment to erase the memory...

Considering opie, they would set fire to him after doing a Lorena Bobbit.

 

No wonder you have had so many divorces, opie, it's easy to see you are a complete ahole.

Originally Posted by semiannualchick:
Originally Posted by Opie Cunningham:

Maybe a TV in another house, I've divorced women for less than a reality TV addiction. If the don't maintain a neat house, maintain their original weight or bring some spark into the bedroom, they're history.

Maybe those women divorced you because you didn't have anything large enough to cause

a spark.

That might explain his obvious hate for women lately and his steady migration towards dudes.

Originally Posted by Opie Cunningham:
Originally Posted by semiannualchick:
Originally Posted by wright35633:

I wish my wife would go to a Chippendale's show so I could get a night away from reality television.

  I love reality TV. Maybe another TV in another room?

 

 

Maybe a TV in another house, I've divorced women for less than a reality TV addiction. If the don't maintain a neat house, maintain their original weight or bring some spark into the bedroom, they're history.


Oh yeah.. you're a real class act. no surprise you are frequently single.

Originally Posted by The Nagel:
Originally Posted by Opie Cunningham:
Originally Posted by semiannualchick:
Originally Posted by wright35633:

I wish my wife would go to a Chippendale's show so I could get a night away from reality television.

  I love reality TV. Maybe another TV in another room?

 

 

Maybe a TV in another house, I've divorced women for less than a reality TV addiction. If the don't maintain a neat house, maintain their original weight or bring some spark into the bedroom, they're history.


Oh yeah.. you're a real class act. no surprise you are frequently single.

 

Permanently single. No way I'm giving up more of my stuff to a braindead, hung up Christian cow again.  Marriage is for suckers, there's so much free sex out there it's unbelievable.

Originally Posted by Opie Cunningham:
Permanently single. No way I'm giving up more of my stuff to a braindead, hung up Christian cow again.  Marriage is for suckers, there's so much free sex out there it's unbelievable.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Sounds like she threw your azz to the curb and you couldn't get a date if you had to.

You could go back to your g ay boy friends.

 

.

Originally Posted by INVICTUS:
Originally Posted by Opie Cunningham:
Permanently single. No way I'm giving up more of my stuff to a braindead, hung up Christian cow again.  Marriage is for suckers, there's so much free sex out there it's unbelievable.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Sounds like she threw your azz to the curb and you couldn't get a date if you had to.

You could go back to your g ay boy friends.

 

.

  

Originally Posted by b50m:
Originally Posted by INVICTUS:
Originally Posted by Opie Cunningham:
Permanently single. No way I'm giving up more of my stuff to a braindead, hung up Christian cow again.  Marriage is for suckers, there's so much free sex out there it's unbelievable.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Sounds like she threw your azz to the curb and you couldn't get a date if you had to.

You could go back to your g ay boy friends.

 

.

 

 

Maybe he's just taking a "hands on" approach.

  

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