Need some advice

quote:

Originally posted by Shoals Lover:
AGAIN, a Spread Spectrum of ages.

What could be wrong with making it ONE age and sticking to it for ALL things?

Would be too easy on the law makers and too much like work.
You should know that in the great state of Alabama change is hard to come by. Heck just look at what the people did voting willis back in. Case closed.

The case could be made (and I think an excellent one, at that, based upon the lack of judgement and reasoning capacity) for raising the driver permit age to 18 and license age to 19.

As well, the age of sexual maturity (age of sexual reasoning), age of voting, and former age of beverage alcohol consumption could all be one!

That age could be 19.

Mothers Against Drunk Driving were all about raising the legal drinking age (age at which one may legally purchase beverage alcohol) to 21 from 19.

Their rationale was that there were increased incidences of alcohol-related wrecks involving those aged 19 or thereabouts.

However, what they didn't acknowledge were no-serve laws (laws forbidding the service of ETOH (ethanol) to obviously intoxicated patrons (now not law, but frequently done because of civil & criminal liability contributory lawsuits), they neither examined criminal liability laws, they neither examined judgements against those convicted of DUI and/or other criminal acts while under the influence, and a host of other judicial acts.

It's not as if there is some "magic" in age 21.

There is, however, some "magic" in making a standard, and sticking to it!

No wheedle, no whining, no crying, no deal-making...

19 is it!

quote:

Originally posted by NashBama:
I'm tempted now to read what SL said about me, but I won't. It's just not worth it.

I'm not a parent, but I'm sure it's incredibly frighting to have to rush your kid to the ER for binge drinking. This incident may have helped on it's own. A couple times of getting sick and blacking out was enough to teach me that one or two drinks are plenty. I still can't drink or even smell tequila.

Getting sick enough to go to the ER will take the fun out of drinking real quick. Experience is the best teacher and I think the lesson is probably remembered. If this kind of incident happens again, then it's time to consider professional help.

Nash, some kids don't survive that "getting sick enough to go to the ER" with alcohol poisoning. It is much better to try to get elijah's kid some help, than see the family suffer some repurcussions from alcohol poisoning.

I have only been around alcohol poisoning one time, and that was with a friend's grandchild, who was 17, it was one of the saddest things I have had to witness in my life...

Not actually the ER, I wasn't there, but the family/friends afterwards... would make huge grown burley men cry, thats for sure.

quote:

Originally posted by Brentenman:
It would be good for the Federal Government to make adult one agreed upon age. As we see in the previous posts, mine included, there are a variety of ages where one is legal to do something.

Oh, to add:

Age one can legally purchase a firearm, longarm: 18

Age one can legally own a firearm, handgun, but cannot legally buy it (yep, it is the law): 18

Age one can legally purchase a handgun: 21

Nash, I agree with ya there. You forgot that in most states, no cigarattes until 19, no alcohol until 21

But weirdly enough, a young person can go to war at age 18.

Heck, even at MY age, I get confused at what age people can do what.

NEVER would I last at a convenience store, lol.

The whole point of raising the voting age was the Viet Nam War.

Young Adults felt that if they were old enough to die, they were old enough to vote and drink whiskey.

They STILL should.

Pray

Kids are going to drink, especially 18 year old boys. Yes, he did drink ALOT, but I have seen this more than once. I would be surprised if it really was only the 2nd time he has had a drink all year, and even more surprised if it was the last. I don't mean to be pessimistic, but I think it was just the 2nd time he got caught, in reality. As far as all this bull about knowing who he is with and what he is doing at all times, give that up! You have to trust his judgement and make sure he knows clearly the consequences of possible alcohol abuse and hanging out with the wrong kind of people.

quote:

Originally posted by shaxtper:
Kids are going to drink, especially 18 year old boys. Yes, he did drink ALOT, but I have seen this more than once. I would be surprised if it really was only the 2nd time he has had a drink all year, and even more surprised if it was the last. I don't mean to be pessimistic, but I think it was just the 2nd time he got caught, in reality. As far as all this bull about knowing who he is with and what he is doing at all times, give that up! You have to trust his judgement and make sure he knows clearly the consequences of possible alcohol abuse and hanging out with the wrong kind of people.

I have to agree with Shaxtper..

but i will continue to keep you & your son in my prayers

At the AA meetings I found that we alcoholics have very similar stories. Most all started at 14-16 years old. Most won't stop until bottom is hit, whether it is an arrest, or losing a job, or ruining a marriage, or perhaps a combination of two or three. Even if your son is not on his way to a bad end, he may benefit from just one meeting to hear the stories, to see the ankle bracelets, the sign in sheets of those required to attend by courts. These folks, going through a hell of their own, are very kind and understanding. I've seen people brought in with wheelchairs due to alcohol, and then they drink again.
That is my 2 cents worth. I hope everything works out for you. The last time I was arrested my B.A.L. was 4.8 and my lawyer was certain the machine was broken, but it was not.
I've managed to quit, but it is a fight every day, little victories to avoid one huge failure.

I just worry about alcohol poisoning.

quote:

Originally posted by Shoals Lover:
The whole point of raising the voting age was the Viet Nam War.

Young Adults felt that if they were old enough to die, they were old enough to vote and drink whiskey.

They STILL should.

It is very easy for me to agree with you on this point, as I was one of the ones caught up in that mess. In fact, at that time, the drinking age varied state to state. When I turned 18, I was in New York City, and could legally buy whatever. In Mississippi, you had to be old enough to figure out how to get to a bootlegger.
I bought a Hurricane at Pat O'Brian's in New Orleans when I was 15.
Trouble came, when they lowered the drinking age to 18 nationally, kids 18-21 were getting killed in droves due to alcohol. The age was raised on account of that.
The MADD movement has now made it miserable for someone who wants to just drink a beer and drive along. In fact, the cops will arrest you and throw you in jail sometimes even tho you have not had a single drink. Oh well, glad I'm not 18 anymore!

Elijah, I'm glad your son wasn't permanently injured and that he didn't injure anyone else. My two cents (and this is based upon my actions at his age, not parenting): follow him when he goes out. He has breached the trust, so follow him. Listen outside the door to his phone calls. Know who his "friends" are. Ask lots of questions. He'll get mad. That's okay. He needs to earn your trust again. That's going to take some time. Don't give him access to too much cash. If he only has enough cash for a 6-pack, you don't have to worry about anymore BACs four times the legal limit.

Don't let him spend the night away from home for awhile. Be up and waiting for him when he gets home. Make him sit down and talk with you for a few minutes.

If he doesn't have another incident in the next 6 months, move on and let him move on. If he has another episode, I would get him counseling. At his age, it would be easier to defeat the problem if, in fact, he has a problem, than it would be later in life.

Kudos to you for caring enough to share your story. My prayers go out to your son and your family.

quote:

Originally posted by flashbridge:
At the AA meetings I found that we alcoholics have very similar stories. Most all started at 14-16 years old. Most won't stop until bottom is hit, whether it is an arrest, or losing a job, or ruining a marriage, or perhaps a combination of two or three. Even if your son is not on his way to a bad end, he may benefit from just one meeting to hear the stories, to see the ankle bracelets, the sign in sheets of those required to attend by courts. These folks, going through a hell of their own, are very kind and understanding. I've seen people brought in with wheelchairs due to alcohol, and then they drink again.
That is my 2 cents worth. I hope everything works out for you. The last time I was arrested my B.A.L. was 4.8 and my lawyer was certain the machine was broken, but it was not.
I've managed to quit, but it is a fight every day, little victories to avoid one huge failure.

Thanks for sharing your story. Good luck to you in your ongoing battle.

I would try to determine why he drank in the first place. Was it peer pressure, etc.? He definitely needs some drug education.

I don't have any two-legged kids, but I know they think they're invincible. He needs to know he could have easily died. He also needs to know that something like this will be common knowledge for a long time and could keep him from getting that job or that girl he wants.

I had a friend whose cousin died--they had to wait for an actual autopsy to determine if it were the alcohol or other drugs in his system. His mother couldn't even tell friends what had actually happened. Is that what your son wants for his family?

It is not about the legalities and who could be charged for what...it is not about being a good or bad parent, not even about how often he drinks alcohol...it is about HOW MUCH he drinks and what it means. He is not drinking to get a buzz, nor is he drinking to be the life of the party because when you are comotose you don't contribute very much to a party. There is something much more troubling in this near lethal form of drinking, and it is usually a form of escapism from some reality in the subject's life that is beyond their coping mechanism. Seek professional intervention.

Elijah wrote:

quote:

His blood alcohol level was at 321..400 and he's gone.

Dude, I thought he was dead. Glad he's not.

He needs (I think) a drinking man to explain to him that getting commode-hugging smashed all the time is no way to live.

there's drinking, and there's living drunk. Even if one wants to get drunk once in a while, he should be responsible and make sure he has a sober driver or cab fare.

I kind of wish I were there. I would volunteer to be his Uncle Deepfat, and have a serious talk with him... over a bottle of Jack, you know, just to keep it real.

DF

DF, keep your phone near. First time I have a kid needing avuncular advice you are the man! Pour 'em a beer, watch a little porn, tell them about the ladies!

Vick,


I live to serve, you know. Just round up a wayward nephew (or niece, over 18) and a bottle of Jack, I'm your man.

DF

Or a Hooter's boy? Who knows EVERYTHING?