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My son [18] got so intoxicated this weekend that we had to take him to the emergency room. His blood alcohol level was at 321..400 and he's gone. This is the second time in one year that he's been drunk... that I know of...Is this something I need to take to a counselor or do I consider this part of that "idiot stage" and punish him likewise. I appreciate any advice.
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I don't know, Elijah. If it's only been twice, he's way under my average at 18. Hope that doesn't give you further reason for alarm, but I think I turned out okay. Smiler

If you guys are Christians, that was the only way to reach my strong-willed child (19) at times. I lucked out on the drinking thing with her, but we clashed in many other areas. Along with taking the car keys and grounding her, I made her read every verse in the Bible out loud regarding respecting her mother. This reached her rebellious head where my words could not. Despite popular opinion, God does address having a drinking problem in the Bible.

However, I don't know your son and I would never want to lead you in the wrong direction. You might want to seek counsel from someone who knows him...a pastor or school counselor.
He's not due for rehab. When I was young and stupid I got too drunk several times, a lot more than twice a year. It takes a couple of really bad times to realize going past your limit and getting sick simply isn't worth it. I'm not saying don't punish him, I'd come down on him like a ton of bricks, but I think he probably knows his limits now.
Nash, although I agree with what you and Joy are saying, I have to say that this kid's numbers were 4-5 times legal drunk... that can kill kids!!! I was worried about this kid's welfare, not that it was a normalacy at that age. I may be wrong, but I think if the kid tried it twice, and both times got almost 5 times legal drunk, then he/she IS heading for a big problem, one that CAN be helped at an early age.... at a later age, it is much much more difficult. I had 2 uncles who were alcoholics, and saw them drink themselves to death... it all started with those first couple of times.... Just my opinion. Sorry if I am wrong... But I would rather be wrong than this kid try it a third time and die over it...
quote:
Originally posted by Kindred_Spirit:
Nash, although I agree with what you and Joy are saying, I have to say that this kid's numbers were 4-5 times legal drunk... that can kill kids!!! I was worried about this kid's welfare, not that it was a normalacy at that age. I may be wrong, but I think if the kid tried it twice, and both times got almost 5 times legal drunk, then he/she IS heading for a big problem, one that CAN be helped at an early age.... at a later age, it is much much more difficult. I had 2 uncles who were alcoholics, and saw them drink themselves to death... it all started with those first couple of times.... Just my opinion. Sorry if I am wrong... But I would rather be wrong than this kid try it a third time and die over it...


Girl, you are too hard on yourself. Frowner You probably know as much or more than anyone else here. Don't let unkind words dictate who you are. They only penetrate as far as you allow them. I didn't think about the blood alcohol level, but you did. You are right, that is very dangerous.
I'm tempted now to read what SL said about me, but I won't. It's just not worth it.

I'm not a parent, but I'm sure it's incredibly frighting to have to rush your kid to the ER for binge drinking. This incident may have helped on it's own. A couple times of getting sick and blacking out was enough to teach me that one or two drinks are plenty. I still can't drink or even smell tequila.

Getting sick enough to go to the ER will take the fun out of drinking real quick. Experience is the best teacher and I think the lesson is probably remembered. If this kind of incident happens again, then it's time to consider professional help.
Last edited by NashBama
I would take note of the blood alcohol level. It could be dangerous if he drinks that much in one night. I would make sure I knew where , what and who is was with at all times. This may or may not be something he will do long term. You need to at least be aware of what he is doing. I know he is almost grown but you still have some parenting to do.

After all he is your son and you won't get a 2nd chance to raise him.
It's not funny, but tough love is the ONLY love.
My dad is a drug abuse Psychologist for the Prison system (and I mean San Quentin and La Tuna)I started getting high and drinking at 16
twice is NOT a heart attack, but it IS a crossroads for him, we all have choices,his are based on peer pressure and a lack of alternatives. You are not responsible for his actions, if he chronically makes bad choices, let him know you love him ,but he cant live there. A few days on the streets (and they are soft here people)should help him. Not changing is encouraging. You can t keep doing the same thing and expecting diferrent results. Good luck and God bless
It's trendy name has found its way into households throughout America.

However, as a "pop psychology" or, the psychology flavor of the day there are probably some better words to describe or give it name.

And, in defense, there are some concepts within it that are valid.

However, and unfortunately, many folks miscontstrue it.
It depends a lot on whether or not you can communicate with your son. Do you have a line open? What I mean by that, does your son feel that he can talk to you about his 'personal' problems? If the above is not true, you can hang up trying to help him. Seeking help on a discussion board for this type problem isn't a good move , and to be honest, tells me you have no faith in your son. I'm not necessarily directing this at you, but, being a parent requires a lot of time and effort. Does you son ever call you just to talk? Is there mutual respect? You must find out why your son is drinking before you can attempt to stop it.

Counciling is not worth anything if the party isn't willing.
thank God for you guys....it happened Friday night... a horrible weekend...we had him tested for other drugs but it was only alcohol.. allmost a lethal dose...the er doctor told us that he sees this often from kids that arent bing drinkers ......it comes from kids that dont know how much to drink...thank you Kindred Spirit for the reference to Rehab..I will take your advice...and to all the others thank you very much for your advice..my son is ordinarily a good kid...honor society....football,,,but some of you said and your were right ... I thought I knew my kid but evidently I didn't... please say a prayer for us .... and thanks for being understanding...it makes me feel good to know that people can rip each other on everything else but when it comes to kids things are different...thanks so very much
We have a good relationship...we"ve talked about everything and spent so much time together ... he has no reason to do this...except that maybe we've been too good to him....I know that that maybe I shouldnt have brought this out on a forum like this, but I had to have some feedback from people who didnt have any emotional attachment...thank you all so much again
quote:
Originally posted by elijah:
my son is ordinarily a good kid...honor society....football,,,but some of you said and your were right ... I thought I knew my kid but evidently I didn't...


I'm guessing he had some help from friends? A lesson in who he surrounds himself with can be a life saver. Have his Dr. or someone (other than parents) explain to him just how big a risk he is taking and if it is worth it.

http://biblebrowser.com/1_corinthians/15-33.htm

I'm praying for you and his success in this.
quote:
Originally posted by Mott The Hoople:
quote:
You are not responsible for his actions


This may be true, only to a certain point.

A parent is very much responsible for how their child turns out.


That's where you are wrong. Parents are to give the tools a child needs to become productive members of society. We can lead them to water but in now way can we force them to drink.
Each one of us have taken parts of what our parents instilled in us and threw the rest away.
Since the son in question is 18 yrs old, the mom can't force him into rehab,counseling or anything else unless he becomes a huge threat to himself or others and that would have to be proven in court.
How about the son take full responsibility for his OWN actions?? Don't put it off on the parents who can not be there holding his/her hands making sure they walk the line 24/7.
Question?
Do you drink in front of your child?

If so that answers your question.

IF NOT:
Check your chlid's friends out.
Talk to your child(and really listen) and find out why he feels the need to drink.
Explain to him the consequences of his actions
if he is drinking and driving and kills someone he can and will go to jail.
ALSO, he is 18 who is buying the beer?

Most of all PRAY, PRAY AND STILL PRAY.!!
Tracy L is correct, the parents cannot force rehab,nor can they make him have a drug test.
18,,,,,he IS accountable for his actions. The thinking that he isn't is alot of HOW this society got where it is today.
Sorry, but had he committed a crime,mommie and daddy could not hold his hand and pet him thru that,nope he would face the consequences by himself.

JMHO,but the young man needs to be educated to the dangers of alcohol overdose, and dangers of substance abuse in general. Sounds like a sheltered kid trying to "blow it out' in one evenings outing. A lot of deeper things going on here,,,,,if its the second time he has dangerously drank in one year.

where is he getting it was asked,,THAT is not even a valid question in this area. If they are big enough to walk up to a counter and lay money down on the counter,they can purchase it,,in numerous places
reeds64,
no, I dont drink in front of my child...and smurf is correct, kids can buy alcohol anywhere in this town....I think now he is very scared...some of his friends were there with him at the emergency room, so I think that maybe some good might come of this...another kid's aunt bought the stuff for them, and I have talked with her...but it is not her fault...he made the decision and will now suffer consequences...I just think that I have been too good to him.
quote:
"another kid's aunt bought the stuff for them"


Unless I'm mistaken, that could lead to a couple of charges.

One, contributing to the delinquency of a minor,

two, violation of Alabama's "Open House Party" laws,

or more.


Section 12-15-13
Causing, etc., of delinquency, dependency or need of supervision of children.

(a) It shall be unlawful for any parent, guardian or other person to willfully aid, encourage or cause any child to become or remain delinquent, dependent or in need of supervision or by words, acts, threats, commands or persuasions, to induce or endeavor to induce, aid or encourage any child to do or perform any act or to follow any course of conduct which would cause or manifestly tend to cause such child to become or remain delinquent, dependent or in need of supervision or by the neglect of any lawful duty or in any other manner contribute to the delinquency, dependency or need of supervision of a child.


Section 12-15-1
(8) DELINQUENT ACT. An act committed by a child that is designated a violation, misdemeanor, or felony offense under the law of this state or of another state if the act occurred in another state or under federal law or a violation of a municipal ordinance except violations of municipal curfew ordinances. The term shall not include traffic offenses committed by one 16 years of age or older, other than those charged pursuant to Section 32-5A-191 or a municipal ordinance prohibiting the same conduct. Additionally, the term shall not include any criminal act, offense, or violation committed by a child who has previously been transferred for criminal prosecution pursuant to Section 12-15-34 and convicted or adjudicated a youthful offender on the criminal charge.

(9) DELINQUENT CHILD. A child who has committed a delinquent act and is in need of care or rehabilitation.
quote:
Originally posted by dogsoldier0513:
I'm under the impression that a teen in AL has to be 19 in order to be considered an 'adult', rather than the nationally recognized age of 18....?


If they are married at 18 then they are considered adults, unmarried they have to wait until 19, but in a court room they can try them as adult's after 16 depending on the crime.
Alabama is very backwards in there laws and feel they are there own little country so it is pick and choose whatever fits your situation here.
quote:
Originally posted by elijah:
another kid's aunt bought the stuff for them, and I have talked with her...but it is not her fault...he made the decision and will now suffer consequences...I just think that I have been too good to him.


From most comments you have made I think you are on the right track to correcting the problem, BUT...
The other kid's aunt has not only broken the law but has also put minors at risk for something they are obviously not old enough to handle (there is a reason to the age limit.)
Just because someone can buy it for them or they can buy it underage doesn't make it ok.

Bad company corrupts good morals. His choice of friends may need to be rethought.

God bless and good luck.
quote:
Originally posted by Tracy L:
quote:
Originally posted by dogsoldier0513:
I'm under the impression that a teen in AL has to be 19 in order to be considered an 'adult', rather than the nationally recognized age of 18....?


If they are married at 18 then they are considered adults, unmarried they have to wait until 19, but in a court room they can try them as adult's after 16 depending on the crime.
Alabama is very backwards in there laws and feel they are there own little country so it is pick and choose whatever fits your situation here.


According to my father in law (he is a lawyer and former judge):

18 = adult

16 = age of sexual consent, 18 is considered age of consent for military purposes (i.e. a soldier who has sex with a person under 18, regardless of state consent laws, is guilty of statutory rape under UCMJ).

21 = legal drinking age (Federal Law)

If the kid is 18 and drunk, then the ER should have notified the police, and busted those who supplied alcoholic beverages to a minor. If the parents had alcohol in the house, and the kid drinks it, then the PARENTS should be held liable for any damages or death that occured, so as long as the kid lives in the same household.
IMO, a significant problem is the wide range of "adult" ages.

• Graduated driver license at 16

• Vote at 18

• Contractual ability at 19

• Beverage alcohol at 21

• On parent's health insurance until 23

• Considered 'adult' by most people at 25

See the problem?

There's NO single age of accountability... unless you're Jewish!

Oy vey!
her
quote:
Originally posted by Brentenman:
quote:
Originally posted by Tracy L:
quote:
Originally posted by dogsoldier0513:
I'm under the impression that a teen in AL has to be 19 in order to be considered an 'adult', rather than the nationally recognized age of 18....?


If they are married at 18 then they are considered adults, unmarried they have to wait until 19, but in a court room they can try them as adult's after 16 depending on the crime.
Alabama is very backwards in there laws and feel they are there own little country so it is pick and choose whatever fits your situation here.


According to my father in law (he is a lawyer and former judge):

18 = adult

16 = age of sexual consent, 18 is considered age of consent for military purposes (i.e. a soldier who has sex with a person under 18, regardless of state consent laws, is guilty of statutory rape under UCMJ).

21 = legal drinking age (Federal Law)

If the kid is 18 and drunk, then the ER should have notified the police, and busted those who supplied alcoholic beverages to a minor. If the parents had alcohol in the house, and the kid drinks it, then the PARENTS should be held liable for any damages or death that occured, so as long as the kid lives in the same household.

What is the age of adulthood or majority in Alabama? Or in other words, how old does a person have to be to get credit or sign a contract without a co-signer?
19 years of age for unmarried persons. (Code of Alabama §26-1-1) or 18 years of age for married persons and widows or widowers (Code of Alabama §30-4-15 & 16).

Now you can tell your father-in-law what the law is here in Alabama.
It would be good for the Federal Government to make adult one agreed upon age. As we see in the previous posts, mine included, there are a variety of ages where one is legal to do something.

Oh, to add:

Age one can legally purchase a firearm, longarm: 18

Age one can legally own a firearm, handgun, but cannot legally buy it (yep, it is the law): 18

Age one can legally purchase a handgun: 21

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