Hi to my Forum Friends,
PLEASE PRAY FOR THIS FAMILY -- God has taken Noah home to be with Him. This mother, who we all know is hurting so deeply, gives us the perfect example of how we should trust God during such times. She is hurt, she is angry, she is frustrated, she ask God, "Why?" -- but, she never turns from loving God and knowing that God loves her.
And, one day she will have her question, "Why?" answered. One day, she will see Noah again. He will be standing beside Jesus Christ, holding His hand, when he welcomes mommy home to heaven.
Please keep this family in your prayers. God bless, Bill
Below are excerpts from his mom's blog:
Noah Alexander Crowe
February 28, 2008 ~ May 18th, 2012
Thursday, 5/17/12
I am angry. Angry may be an understatement. I am angry with a heaping spoonful of frustrated, mixed with a dash of hopeful. Fold in a bit of desperate and that is where I have been the past few days. . . hence the reason I haven't posted a blog. I've been trying to work out my emotions with God's grace without much success, it seems.
I've watched Noah slowly deteriorate over the past week as the tumors grow; day to day he looses some function that at one time gave him independence and confidence. He has always been a proud little guy, not wanting to cry over spilled milk or even a port access. He didn't want me to help him use the bathroom the other day, so I stood close to the toilet holding his backpack (that houses his morphine pump). He lost his balance and fell off the potty. As I helped him up he forced a smile through embarrassment, saying, "I am going to laugh at that, Mom. Yep. That was funny." I know he is not only hurting physically, but his pride has been crushed and he fusses at me if I call him my big boy. He retorts that he is a little boy now. . .
Even though I have cried and screamed to God in my heart, and I do not approve of the path He is allowing my family to walk, I am choosing to love God and trust Him through this situation and in my anger. In the same manner I choose to love and trust my husband when I am furious at him (yes, we definitely have our moments) but on a completely different level. I made a commitment to John in December of 2005 to stick with him through the good, bad, and the ugly, and to choose to love him every day of my life. (Marriage is definitely not always fairy tales and pixie dust, and true love is deciding to love my spouse when it’s not convenient for me to do so, i.e. things aren't going my way, my needs aren't being met, life just plain sucks.)
That commitment I made should not be broken. In a similar comparison, but on a completely different plane is my commitment to my God and my faith. When I decided that Jesus was the Man I wanted to attempt to emulate, God was the Father I needed and couldn’t find on earth, and the Holy Spirit was real, and my Comfort, I was all-in with no turning back.
Sure I've regressed in my walk with God, and I've wrestled and worked out my salvation like any other Christian. But there is one thing that I've always clung to - His love never fails.
After becoming a mother I can see a tiny glimpse of how much He loves me, and the truth of His promise to ALWAYS love me, no matter what.
Note: Bold, underline, and italic emphasis in the blog above is mine.
