This obscure 16th Century saint is the patron saint of overeaters. Having attained a weight of 846 pounds at the age of 23, Rupertorious began the longest recorded continuous fast in human history. Over the next 8 years, subsisting entirely on bread and water, he shed all but 220 pounds of his enormous bulk, leaving himself with "curtains" of skin hanging grotesquely from his waist and chest area. Fortunately for St. Rupe, he lived in the same village with Theodoric of York, famed medieval barber/surgeon of great skill in all the disciplines of medicine (e.g.attachment of leeches, applications of noxious poultices), including major plastic surgery. Submitting to 15 minutes of intractable screaming agony, Rupertorious yielded his disfigured body to the snicker snack of the vorpal blade of Theodoric in an operation that yielded over 6 square feet of human skin in a single piece. Stretched and dried, the skin of Rupertorious Gluttonosus was painted with a mural depicting the steady progress of this saint from his enormous starting weight to his post-fasting, post-surgical sveltitude. The "Skin of Saint Rupertorious:" has been preserved for generations in a shrine in the tiny town of Adiposa, Italy,and is an inspiration for all grossly obese Catholics who yearn for new and lissome bodies.