Since we don't know when this apocalytic event will occur, and the saved are often depicted as being taken up to heaven in their birthday suits. And I believe that one should be as presentable as possible: brush teeth regularly, bathe, shave my legs, and so forth. Since I get waxed on occasion, should I do it more frequently so as to look my best?

What do you folks think?
Original Post
Go for it. Might as well look as sexy as you can. After all it will be the last time to make a good impression.
That is a tough one. I would consult a 1-800 prayer line direct from TBN to heaven were I you, I am sure Jan Crouch could give you great counsel on Christian external body care, from legs to botox to wigs. If not she, then Rexella who has the hotline from God from Jack. She has a fake PhD now, just like all the other telebangelists, and my friends' cost them a dozen years and nearly $100,000 each. Wrong racket, evidently.
quote:
Originally posted by Ronnie P.:
If anyone thinks a woman would come up with this I've got some property for sale.


Come up with which, the question or the procedure? Smiler
quote:
If not she, then Rexella who has the hotline from God from Jack. She has a fake PhD now, just like all the other telebangelists, and my friends' cost them a dozen years and nearly $100,000 each. Wrong racket, evidently.


How interesting. What went on?
It doesn't matter. When you get "caught up" you'll have a glorified body. Try as you may, you'll never attain that as long as you're still here.
There will be no such thing as "The Rapture".
We will all be vaporized, to come back to this Earth as...insects, animals, small cars.
quote:
Originally posted by CageTheElephant:
There will be no such thing as "The Rapture".
We will all be vaporized, to come back to this Earth as...insects, animals, small cars.

Hi all,

I do believe we have a reincarnation of our DEEP/FISH Friends. Like a bad penny; some things will just not stay lost.

Y'all come back now, ya heah?

Bill

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quote:
Originally posted by ccrider:
I hope some people like it hot. I heard hell is scorching and taking RSVP's!!!


Depends on where you're from. My version says it's a very cold place.
Notwithstanding the skeptical views of Bill Gray, Elvis, and Deep Fat, if the Rapture will come, then it makes good sense to be prepared. But we need guidance: pubic hair may be pleasing in the eyes of the LORD.
quote:
Originally posted by Disappointed:
and the saved are often depicted as being taken up to heaven in their birthday suits.
What do you folks think?


I've been in church my entire life and been "Born Again" abt 45 years and never heard this one?!?!?!?
quote:
Originally posted by intheshoals:
quote:
Originally posted by Disappointed:
and the saved are often depicted as being taken up to heaven in their birthday suits.
What do you folks think?

I've been in church my entire life and been "Born Again" abt 45 years and never heard this one?!?!?!?

Hi Shoals,

If, by chance, Dis does make it -- I am sure he/she will not be Disappointed.

No, Dis, we will all be clothed in the robes of pure righteousness provided only by Jesus Christ. We will have no need for any man-made clothing, eye glasses, false teeth -- or breast implants. It will just be pure white robes of His righteousness. Praise the Lord!

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill

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quote:
Originally posted by Bill Gray:
quote:
Originally posted by intheshoals:
quote:
Originally posted by Disappointed:
and the saved are often depicted as being taken up to heaven in their birthday suits.
What do you folks think?

I've been in church my entire life and been "Born Again" abt 45 years and never heard this one?!?!?!?

Hi Shoals,

If, by chance, Dis does make it -- I am sure he/she will not be Disappointed.

No, Dis, we will all be clothed in the robes of pure righteousness provided only by Jesus Christ. We will have no need for any man-made clothing, eye glasses, false teeth -- or breast implants. It will just be pure white robes of His righteousness. Praise the Lord!

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill


Mr. Bill,

Under those white robes of His righteousness, will he throw in some large tatas for me?
quote:
Originally posted by Anemone:
quote:
Originally posted by Bill Gray:
quote:
Originally posted by intheshoals:
quote:
Originally posted by Disappointed:
and the saved are often depicted as being taken up to heaven in their birthday suits.
What do you folks think?

I've been in church my entire life and been "Born Again" abt 45 years and never heard this one?!?!?!?

Hi Shoals,

If, by chance, Dis does make it -- I am sure he/she will not be Disappointed.

No, Dis, we will all be clothed in the robes of pure righteousness provided only by Jesus Christ. We will have no need for any man-made clothing, eye glasses, false teeth -- or breast implants. It will just be pure white robes of His righteousness. Praise the Lord!

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill

Mr. Bill,

Under those white robes of His righteousness, will he throw in some large tatas for me?

Hi Ane,

Obviously, that is the least of YOUR worries.

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill

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Images (1)
quote:
Originally posted by outspokenjerk:
This is the stupidest thread I think I have ever read.

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Images (1)
quote:
Originally posted by Bill Gray:
quote:
Originally posted by Anemone:
quote:
Originally posted by Bill Gray:
quote:
Originally posted by intheshoals:
quote:
Originally posted by Disappointed:
and the saved are often depicted as being taken up to heaven in their birthday suits.
What do you folks think?

I've been in church my entire life and been "Born Again" abt 45 years and never heard this one?!?!?!?

Hi Shoals,

If, by chance, Dis does make it -- I am sure he/she will not be Disappointed.

No, Dis, we will all be clothed in the robes of pure righteousness provided only by Jesus Christ. We will have no need for any man-made clothing, eye glasses, false teeth -- or breast implants. It will just be pure white robes of His righteousness. Praise the Lord!

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill

Mr. Bill,

Under those white robes of His righteousness, will he throw in some large tatas for me?

Hi Ane,

Obviously, that is the least of YOUR worries.

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill


Since Mr. Bill failed to give you a civil answer, Anemone, I'll do it instead.

If the Good Lord gives you terrific tatas, in appreciation you should show His works so that we all might believe!
quote:
Originally posted by Anemone:
quote:
Originally posted by Bill Gray:
quote:
Originally posted by intheshoals:
quote:
Originally posted by Disappointed:
and the saved are often depicted as being taken up to heaven in their birthday suits.
What do you folks think?

I've been in church my entire life and been "Born Again" abt 45 years and never heard this one?!?!?!?

Hi Shoals,

If, by chance, Dis does make it -- I am sure he/she will not be Disappointed.

No, Dis, we will all be clothed in the robes of pure righteousness provided only by Jesus Christ. We will have no need for any man-made clothing, eye glasses, false teeth -- or breast implants. It will just be pure white robes of His righteousness. Praise the Lord!

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill


Mr. Bill,

Under those white robes of His righteousness, will he throw in some large tatas for me?


Anemone, if you are a true believer, keep in mind that the GOOD LORD will provide you sufficient assets to righteously earn those Mardi Gras beads! And the righteous will truly be able to sing "How Great Thou Art"!
quote:
Originally posted by Bill Gray:
quote:
Originally posted by intheshoals:
quote:
Originally posted by Disappointed:
and the saved are often depicted as being taken up to heaven in their birthday suits.
What do you folks think?

I've been in church my entire life and been "Born Again" abt 45 years and never heard this one?!?!?!?

Hi Shoals,

If, by chance, Dis does make it -- I am sure he/she will not be Disappointed.

No, Dis, we will all be clothed in the robes of pure righteousness provided only by Jesus Christ. We will have no need for any man-made clothing, eye glasses, false teeth -- or breast implants. It will just be pure white robes of His righteousness. Praise the Lord!

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill


Bummer! And I was going to get some serious Bulgarian airbags!
Hi Elvis,

Maybe when you get to stand before Him, you can ask Him, face to face, if this is His work.

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill

Attachments

Images (1)
quote:
Originally posted by intheshoals:
quote:
Originally posted by Disappointed:
and the saved are often depicted as being taken up to heaven in their birthday suits.
What do you folks think?


I've been in church my entire life and been "Born Again" abt 45 years and never heard this one?!?!?!?


I used to have a sloppily illustrated tract from some premillennialist triburapture cult that showed naked humans emerging from the earth at the supposed "rapture," with dirt trailing behind them like some kind of earthen contrails. It was a real trip!
quote:
quote:
Originally posted by intheshoals:

quote:
Originally posted by Disappointed:
and the saved are often depicted as being taken up to heaven in their birthday suits.
What do you folks think?


I've been in church my entire life and been "Born Again" abt 45 years and never heard this one?!?!?!?


I used to have a sloppily illustrated tract from some premillennialist triburapture cult that showed naked humans emerging from the earth at the supposed "rapture," with dirt trailing behind them like some kind of earthen contrails. It was a real trip!


Dayum! beternU...cobwebs of the brain?...That was the ...January, 1976 edition of "Hustler Magazine"...NOT a pamplet!
I saw it too!
quote:
Originally posted by Bill Gray:
Hi Elvis,

Maybe when you get to stand before Him, you can ask Him, face to face, if this is His work.

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill



Are you serious?!?!?!
quote:
Originally posted by Bill Gray:
quote:
Originally posted by intheshoals:
quote:
Originally posted by Disappointed:
and the saved are often depicted as being taken up to heaven in their birthday suits.
What do you folks think?

I've been in church my entire life and been "Born Again" abt 45 years and never heard this one?!?!?!?

Hi Shoals,

If, by chance, Dis does make it -- I am sure he/she will not be Disappointed.

No, Dis, we will all be clothed in the robes of pure righteousness provided only by Jesus Christ. We will have no need for any man-made clothing, eye glasses, false teeth -- or breast implants. It will just be pure white robes of His righteousness. Praise the Lord!

God bless, have a wonderful, blessed day,

Bill


so.. you've just demoted christ to a tailor? dressmaker? retail clerk?

besides.. i thought it was supposed to be 'heaven'?
who needs robes in heaven? in fact, standing around in a dress for eternity isn't exactly what i'd call heaven.

i'm thinking bahamas type beach.. mid 70's by day mid 60's by night and not a stich of clothing to be found.
also, an open bar.

and all the waitresses look like halle berry and nicole scherzinger and jessica alba.

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