Anyone want to comment about the woman in Tennessee who sent her adopted child back to Russia? Seems to me, if you adopt a child, that child becomes YOUR child and if they are having some type of problem, you get help for them. There is no telling what happened to this poor kid before he was sent to the orphanage or after he got there, then he's shipped off to a foreign country (probably doesn't speak English very well if at all). If you give birth to a child and they develop some type of problem like that, you would do what you could to help them, not send them off somewhere else. I hope her natural born child doesn't develop some type of problem.....

And, please, no comments about how Americans should adopt American children and not foreign children.... I've heard that argument a lot and that is not the point here....
Instant pirate----- just add rum
Original Post
Even if she couldn't control the child -- she should have contacted DHR and exhausted all efforts stateside instead of just putting the child on a plane. Proof that not every person that has children should have children. Some people just aren't cut out to handle adopted or foster kids -- you have to be able to work with the child and the authorities and communicate and help the child -- the child comes first.
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Originall posted by eastside:
yEven if she couldn't control the child -- she should have contacted DHR and exhausted all efforts stateside instead of just putting the child on a plane. Proof that not every person that has children should have children. Some people just aren't cut out to handle adopted or foster kids -- you have to be able to work with the child and the authorities and communicate and help the child -- the child comes first.


This was on the Morning News. There was some National expert on adoptions on, that said the DHR, nor any other Organizations would get involved in this, although she never said why.
I thought the point of legal adoption was that the child becomes as much a child of the parent as a natural born child. She would not be allowed to 'return' a biological child and she ought to suffer some kind of penalty for doing what she has done.

If this boy was 'disturbed' before, think how he feels now?

It takes a special person to take a child and love it like a parent does. There is the idea that anyone can do that, but I think that people who are able to adopt and truly love a child are special people. Especially when it comes to adopting an older child.
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Originally posted by CageTheElephant:
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Originall posted by eastside:
yEven if she couldn't control the child -- she should have contacted DHR and exhausted all efforts stateside instead of just putting the child on a plane. Proof that not every person that has children should have children. Some people just aren't cut out to handle adopted or foster kids -- you have to be able to work with the child and the authorities and communicate and help the child -- the child comes first.


This was on the Morning News. There was some National expert on adoptions on, that said the DHR, nor any other Organizations would get involved in this, although she never said why.


DHR would have no choice but to get involved with this child if the mother had dropped the kid off an an emergency room with a note attached that said "I am a bad parent and can't control this child". If she was going to "abandon" the boy she could have done so in TN or even another state and not put the child on a plane to go across the pond. That was irresponsible. Just because a flight attendant says they will watch him or pay a man $200 to pick him up at the airport -- would you truly trust some people to do their part?

I get the child was hard to manage and that he had psychological issues, but she adopted the child -- he was hers -- he was her responsibility to take care of regardless of where he was born. There are better psych facilities here in the states that could have evaluated the child and helped her send him back -- her bottom line (in my opinion) was money -- and she didn't want to invest anymore in him than she already had. She had options -- she just chose the most ignorant of them all.

I agree that if Russia is sending 'problem children' to the US to desperate families then they should be monitored more closely, but this parent acted inappropriately and should be held responsible.
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Originally posted by Ronnie P.:
If I adopted a kid who wanted to burn my house down with the family in it I'd send it back. Sorry but that's a little outside the norm.


Once you adopt a child you've made a lifelong commitment to nurture it. You take the bull by the horns and deal with problems, just as if your own kid wanted to burn down your house. You should no more "send it back" than you would your own child.
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Originally posted by semiannualchick:
This is the first I've heard about this. Who did she send the child to in Russia?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36322282/ns/world_news-europe

Here's a link to one of the stories.

here's the one where the adoptions specialist said that social services PROBABLY wouldn't help you, but like I said, DHR or whatever TN's version of it is should have been contacted at the least to find a best way to handle this situation.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories...ow/main6387514.shtml

I get that this kid was violent and you fear for your safety -- I really do, but you find alternatives. Kids draw pictures of things they have been through -- who's to say this kid at 7 had not been through his home burning and that is what is part of his mental instability. With his age and his being from Russia -- I'm sure there was a language barrier and she might not have understood exactly what the kid was trying to tell her about the picture. If she didn't seek true psychiatric help for the child and counseling -- how could she know that he is not just misunderstood? If she had physical proof of violence and documentation etc -- she might get away with this, but if it's just that she didn't want the child anymore she's in more trouble now than before.
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Originally posted by Ronnie P.:
If I adopted a kid who wanted to burn my house down with the family in it I'd send it back. Sorry but that's a little outside the norm.

What would you do if your natural born child did the same thing? Would you "send it back"? No, you would attempt to get help for it, at least most people would... not sure about you, though, Ronnie P.
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Originally posted by dogsoldier0513:
To display such behaviors, the child had to have been exposed to such behaviors previously and deemed them 'normal'. While I sympathize with the adoptive parent, sticking him on that plane amounts to 'child abandonment' and is a criminal offense.


UPDATE: According to the latest news, the adoptive mother never mentioned to the American agency that helped her get the child that she was having problems with the child. They would periodically call to check and see how everything was going and she NEVER told them anything about his behavioral problems. The last time they called was 2 days before she shipped the kid off. She did talk to a psychologist, but never took the child to see anyone. AND she told the agency she was so happy with this child that she wanted to have them help her with adopting a SECOND child. They told her it was too soon and she needed to concentrate on this little boy first, then they would talk later about possibly helping her with another adoption. She didn't like that and had started talking to a SECOND agency about adopting another Russian child. All of this was on national news this morning. This woman is totally out of her tree and I think her natural born child should be taken from her before he/she pitches a temper tantrum and threatens to do something and she tries to send it back..... where she would send it to, I don't know.... but from all indications, she would try to do something. (The names Casey Anthony and Susan Smith ring any bells... both had kids that "cramped" their lifestyle, like this child seemed to be doing to this woman and her own child will probably do eventually in her way of thinking)

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