http://www.time.com/time/magaz...9171,1983895,00.html

I do realize that no amount of research will change some of your minds Roll Eyes; just wanted to enlighten you.

Some points from the article:

The odds of a child being more aggressive at age 5 increased by 50% if he had been spanked more than twice in the month.

...her team accounted for varying levels of natural aggression in children, suggesting, she says, that "it's not just that children who are more aggressive are more likely to be spanked."

...spanking sets up a loop of bad behavior. Corporal punishment instills fear rather than understanding. Even if children stop tantrums when spanked, that doesn't mean they get why they shouldn't have been acting up in the first place. What's more, spanking sets a bad example, teaching children that aggressive behavior is a solution to their parents' problems.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) does not endorse spanking under any circumstance.
Original Post
The long term effects of spanking (when used properly)are happy, responsible,law abiding adults!
On the other hand there are parents that spank their children because they are angry, want revenge. Spanking should only be a tool to correct unacceptable behavior and even then should only be done for the more serious offenses because if it is used to often it can begin to loose its effectiveness. For the minor stuff a time out, grounding, taking their cell phone, etc can also be effective tools.
quote:
Originally posted by BFred07:
The long term effects of spanking (when used properly)are happy, responsible,law abiding adults!
On the other hand there are parents that spank their children because they are angry, want revenge. Spanking should only be a tool to correct unacceptable behavior and even then should only be done for the more serious offenses because if it is used to often it can begin to loose its effectiveness. For the minor stuff a time out, grounding, taking their cell phone, etc can also be effective tools.


Hey there, Fred. Long time no argue, huh? Big Grin I'm sorry but you totally missed the point of the study's findings. It does not say that spanking is okay, as long as it's used sparingly; it says that ALL spanking makes children more aggressive. Period.
Personal experience and observation clearly indicates this was another study with preconceived results. Lack of discipline (corporal) has resulted in and continues to result in the mindless, unmotivated, uncaring and free-spirits we see daily. No one is responsible for anything. It just happens. Also, Time magazine represents nothing and is a waste of paper.
quote:
Originally posted by BFred07:
The long term effects of spanking (when used properly)are happy, responsible,law abiding adults!
On the other hand there are parents that spank their children because they are angry, want revenge. Spanking should only be a tool to correct unacceptable behavior and even then should only be done for the more serious offenses because if it is used to often it can begin to loose its effectiveness. For the minor stuff a time out, grounding, taking their cell phone, etc can also be effective tools.



taking their cell phone?

Thats the major reason spankings are needed...SPOILED children.
OK, I have to say something. Every single person I went to school with and every single friend I have was "paddled" or "spanked" as a child. I have two children, both were spanked as needed. NONE of these people I am still in contact with are aggressive or abusive. We spanked only when necessary, and as the children grew it became less frequent. I can't remember spanking our kids after they got around 9-10 or so. At that point they began to pay attention and LISTEN to us better. We have friends who refuse to spank and to be honest, nobody wants their kids around because they are rude pushy little jerks. Of course it's partly that they have been too lazy or ignorant to properly discipline in any way. Point is, all of us who grew up in the '50s and '60s were spanked. I have no doubt if you look at percentages from each decade, there is more physical violence and misbehavior now than ever before. And don't forget the impact of video games and other forms of "entertainment" that promote violence. It's not all due to spanking. I shouldn't need to add this, but, I'm not supporting child abuse and beating. There IS a difference.
quote:
Originally posted by longawaiting:
Personal experience and observation clearly indicates this was another study with preconceived results. Lack of discipline (corporal) has resulted in and continues to result in the mindless, unmotivated, uncaring and free-spirits we see daily. No one is responsible for anything. It just happens. Also, Time magazine represents nothing and is a waste of paper.


How could the results be preconceived when they were studying children? You think someone tipped the kids off to the study? LOL!

So being spanked somehow makes you a responsible adult, but being put in timeout and other measures does not? Care to explain? Chances are excellent that you can't. Spanking is the only discipline, huh? Comical.

Yeah, Time magazine is a waste of paper just like the folks on Fox News are a waste of air space.
quote:
Originally posted by JaneYIS:
OK, I have to say something. Every single person I went to school with and every single friend I have was "paddled" or "spanked" as a child. I have two children, both were spanked as needed. NONE of these people I am still in contact with are aggressive or abusive. We spanked only when necessary, and as the children grew it became less frequent. I can't remember spanking our kids after they got around 9-10 or so. At that point they began to pay attention and LISTEN to us better. We have friends who refuse to spank and to be honest, nobody wants their kids around because they are rude pushy little jerks. Of course it's partly that they have been too lazy or ignorant to properly discipline in any way. Point is, all of us who grew up in the '50s and '60s were spanked. I have no doubt if you look at percentages from each decade, there is more physical violence and misbehavior now than ever before. And don't forget the impact of video games and other forms of "entertainment" that promote violence. It's not all due to spanking. I shouldn't need to add this, but, I'm not supporting child abuse and beating. There IS a difference.


What's in bold is BS. I know too many parents, including myself, that did not spank and have happy, healthy, productive, non-aggressive, non-violent children. Typical response.
I agree and disagree! My parents used all manner of discipline from grounding, time-outs, loss of privileges and an a occasional spanking when the infraction warranted one. I am extremely responsible, employed, have never been arrested, or never showed up on my parent's doorstep pregnant. I think they did a fairly good job, no arrogance intended. AND they spanked me.
quote:
quote:
Originally posted by CageTheElephant:
What B.S.
Not even worth rebuttal.


Yes, Tulane University - a world renowned research university - is known for their many bunk studies.


No, I don't need some "renowned research"...I have the "experience based FACTS"...
Got my azz "lit" several times as a kid. AND, yes! I "avoided" future similar acts...
if i cared enough to spend the time, i'm sure i could find a study that 'proved' the exact opposite.

there are few 'studies' done any more that aren't preconcieved before they start.

a groupe of people said ' hey .. i hate spanking.. lets go do and publish a study that shows how bad it is'

the same type of scientific studies have 'proven' plain old vanilla male+female porn movies leads directly to child molestation.

i understand you're point, buttercup... but i don't buy the study. you believe it because it's something you already believe in.

i know kids that were never spanked who are absolout horrors, and we aren't friends with those parents anymore because we didn't want to be around those spoiled obnoxious brats.
to be fair i also know a couple kids who weren't spanked and are ok normal kids.
i don't know any kids that were spanked properly, (not abused, not mistreated, not spanked in anger) that are as obnoxious as the kids who run roughshod over their parents because they know there are no consqunces.
they had their cells phones taken away. the kids went into the parents bedroom and ransaked it until they found them. the driving privlidges were revoked. they took the car anyway. because they knew, from years of experiance, that nothing would ever happen except a little more yelling and fussing.

i do know one child that wasn't spanked... was a horrible horrible child.. rotten little brat.. didn't want to be around her.
now, she's starting college, and is a phenomenal human being.

all i know for sure is this.
i know more rotten children, personally, that wern't spanked, than good ones, and know more good spankees that are good kids than rotten ones.
call it a 'Study' based on personal experiance and now sitting and watching and waiting for evidence that proved my point.

BUT.. after all that, i still say /Cheers!.. the world needs all of us.. if everyone was alike, this would be a bloody boring place to live Smiler
Vive la Differance!
quote:
Originally posted by Buttercup:


Hey there, Fred. Long time no argue, huh? Big Grin I'm sorry but you totally missed the point of the study's findings. It does not say that spanking is okay, as long as it's used sparingly; it says that ALL spanking makes children more aggressive. Period.


I was not agreeing with the article, I was just stating my own humble opinion.

Spanking is not bad for kids, when my older kids were younger they were spanked for things like playing with an electrical socket, jumping on the couch, climbing on the counters, and other crap that could get them hurt. Those were the things that I wanted/needed to quickly get across to them that they were not going to do again because I did not want them to be injured. I have a younger one now that occasionally gets a spanking for the same type things and for the most part spanking offenses for my kids fell into the perimeter of things that could get them hurt. Other things have been like once my 2nd oldest son was told to go to time out, he didn't think he should have to and argued and straight out said he wasn't going to time out, so I whipped his little tail into time out and there was no more argument about it! Well anyway, so far so good. My older kids have turned out pretty well and my smaller ones are well behaved. My kids do not seem to be overly aggressive, they are well adjusted,made good grades through school, had plenty of friends, and the older ones are in college and holding jobs...now if I could just get them to handle their money a bit more responsibly, wonder if spanking an 18 & 21 year old might help that problem?
quote:
Originally posted by BFred07:
The long term effects of spanking (when used properly)are happy, responsible,law abiding adults!
On the other hand there are parents that spank their children because they are angry, want revenge. Spanking should only be a tool to correct unacceptable behavior and even then should only be done for the more serious offenses because if it is used to often it can begin to loose its effectiveness. For the minor stuff a time out, grounding, taking their cell phone, etc can also be effective tools.


+1 No sense in arguing this one. One either agrees with PROPER application of corporal punishment or one doesn't. But to come out and say that ALL corporal punishment is 'wrong' is liberal closedmindedness at its best.
1st came lecture of why a whoopin was called for ,then the question what was I thinking, then the lecture of thinking before acting next time. Alot of thought process before the stimulation. There has always been parents with no common sense, there is just alot more nowadays.
quote:
Originally posted by Sofa King:
No amount of evidence will ever change a true believer's mind, Buttercup.

Yeah, you have all the facts and research that soundly proves your point but the stupid runs deep in this area.

Nice try, though.


LOL, the supposed facts of the "study" are a bit biased. Corporal punishment has been used for thousands of years, the reason it has stayed around is because it works!
The people doing this "research" are the ones that seem to think if time out doesn't work the kid must have ADD and just give them pills like Ritalin or Adderall to "fix" them.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to just observe how things work, I can see how my grandparents, parents, siblings, and children turned out and I can see how the kids that didn't get whippings turned out. I think I'll stick with whippings when needed as it seems to be working out pretty well.
quote:
Originally posted by Sofa King:
No amount of evidence will ever change a true believer's mind, Buttercup.

Yeah, you have all the facts and research that soundly proves your point but the stupid runs deep in this area.

Nice try, though.


I know. I'm actually sitting here laughing at the responses because they're all so predictable.

Over and over, the spankers say kids who aren't spanked are brats and end up in jail. LOL! It's still beyond me (for some reason) how a person can't deduce that discipline means to train.

Parents that don't set any limits will in fact have a brat on their hands, but smart parents set limits and boundaries and do use timeouts, etc.; that is discipline and - if it's used consistently - it works. Every time.
Buttercup - I spanked my daughter ONCE during her younger years: ONCE. IIRC, she was 3 years old. It indeed HURT...me. Future punishment was 'time out' in a corner, which she absolutely HATED...MORE than the spanking. She was THE BEST kid a parent/teacher could ever hope for. She is now mother to my grandson.

Me? I received spankings, whippings, etc...ALL FOR GOOD REASON. I even had my ears boxed by my dad a couple of times. Again, all deserved. Sometimes I was paddled, spanked, whipped, etc 3-4X for the one incident.

As a teacher I paddled numerous students: all for good reasons. BUT....I honestly believe that there is an AGE LIMIT at which corporal punishment ceases to work and other measures should be selected. But to say it is ALL bad ALL the time shows a gross misunderstanding of child psychology.
quote:
But to say it is ALL bad ALL the time shows a gross misunderstanding of child psychology.


You didn't even read the article, did you?

Yes, it IS bad all the time. Especially when there are other methods that work just as well or better but [i]without the abuse factor.[i].

This newest research combined with many decades of older research confirms this beyond any reasonable doubt!

If I could show you some alternatives that have been proven to work better, would you continue to spank or would you stick to your old ways?
quote:
Me? I received spankings, whippings, etc...ALL FOR GOOD REASON.


And so did I. Your evidently resulted in a continuation and acceptance of old methods that have been proven to be harmful in the long run.

Me? I was beaten by my teacher in the 1st grade and that set the mood for the rest of my school years. It DID NO motivate me to come to school ready to learn. I bred resentment.

Psychology and research reveals that these kinds of events have long term negative consequences that present themselves in ways that you cannot imagine unless you study the evidence. Please educate yourself. There is hope for you, too, but only if you choose to open your mind to the possibility that committing violence upon children might, jut might, ultimately be a bad thing.
quote:
Originally posted by Buttercup:
quote:
Originally posted by Sofa King:
No amount of evidence will ever change a true believer's mind, Buttercup.

Yeah, you have all the facts and research that soundly proves your point but the stupid runs deep in this area.

Nice try, though.


I know. I'm actually sitting here laughing at the responses because they're all so predictable.

Over and over, the spankers say kids who aren't spanked are brats and end up in jail. LOL! It's still beyond me (for some reason) how a person can't deduce that discipline means to train.

Parents that don't set any limits will in fact have a brat on their hands, but smart parents set limits and boundaries and do use timeouts, etc.; that is discipline and - if it's used consistently - it works. Every time.


You do realize your responses have been pretty preditable as well?

How many kids do you have buttercup?
To each his own, thats my motto. I will not hesitate to swat the rear of my toddler when needed, very seldomly is it needed (usually lowering my voice gets her attention.) You know what is worse than swatting her rear? Having someone force their opinion on you about whether or not you should spank. Not that Buttercup is doing that here, there is nothing wrong with debating your side of the arguement and providing facts to support it. What I am talking about are the people that belittle you as a parent because you 'lowered' yourself to spank. What those folks need to recognize is that it is not 'abuse' as far as any law is concerned, and that, as long as it is not illegal, it is my right to choose that method of punishment. Agree to disagree and move on. This arguement has been going on for years and years, and the vast majority of children have grown up to be normal adults.

What never ceases to amaze me is, for all the studys that are done, no one ever discusses how things are now as compared to the past. While you cant contribute it to one thing (like spanking or not spanking), there is an obvious difference in todays and yesterdays (20+ years ago) children. I dont remember growing up with police at school, worrys about school shootings, 11 year olds being charged with murder and rape, large numbers of children being on mood altering drugs (prescribed by doctors, anyway), etc.

So tell me, what is different today? Lots of things have changed, spanking is frowned on, national news reports on crimes more frequently and in deeper detail, TV shows are less family friendly, children are 'drugged' into compliance (ADD and ADHA - while it is a real problem, IMHO it is WAY OVERDIAGNOSED). Children are not raised to accept failure and move on, now everyone is a winner and no one accepts defeat anymore. The list goes on and on.

One thing I know of, from experience, is that an occasional spanking will correct the action without negative long term affects. I think I will stick with what I know works. All these studies regarding all these different things that have been done wrong in previous generations child raising don't seem to be improving the quality of children maturing into adulthood each day. If anything, todays young adults (as a whole) are less prepared for adulthood than any previous generation.....

Jeepin'
quote:
Originally posted by Buttercup:
quote:
Originally posted by Sofa King:
No amount of evidence will ever change a true believer's mind, Buttercup.

Yeah, you have all the facts and research that soundly proves your point but the stupid runs deep in this area.

Nice try, though.


I know. I'm actually sitting here laughing at the responses because they're all so predictable.

Over and over, the spankers say kids who aren't spanked are brats and end up in jail. LOL! It's still beyond me (for some reason) how a person can't deduce that discipline means to train.

Parents that don't set any limits will in fact have a brat on their hands, but smart parents set limits and boundaries and do use timeouts, etc.; that is discipline and - if it's used consistently - it works. Every time.


Of course the response is predictable, that would be because the correct answers are simple. If someone referenced a study that "found" 2 plus 2 is 500 it is fairly predictable that someone might say that 2 plus 2 is actually 4 and someone might even explain their reasoning by holding up two fingers on each hand and saying "count the total".
Many of your responses come from real world experience, not a clinical study conducted by someone looking to find something wrong with spanking. Whether or not spanking is used as a form of discipline there is a correct way to approach discipline and a wrong way. Any punishment that is overused will not be very effective, discipline without caring does not work out well either. As for limits, setting limits has nothing to do with to spank or not to spank. It's just what approach a parent chooses to use when a child crosses the line.
I would think for most parents that it is gut wrenching to spank their children, additionally is quite a horrible feeling to have to ground my kids. Discipline is not a fun part of being a parent and whether you choose to spank your child for discipline problems or send them to time out with an extra dose of Ritalin I think it is important for kids to know just how much it really bothers us to have to punish them.
quote:
Originally posted by Lets Go Jeepin':
What never ceases to amaze me is, for all the studys that are done, no one ever discusses how things are now as compared to the past. While you cant contribute it to one thing (like spanking or not spanking), there is an obvious difference in todays and yesterdays (20+ years ago) children. I dont remember growing up with police at school, worrys about school shootings, 11 year olds being charged with murder and rape, large numbers of children being on mood altering drugs (prescribed by doctors, anyway), etc.

So tell me, what is different today? Lots of things have changed, spanking is frowned on, national news reports on crimes more frequently and in deeper detail, TV shows are less family friendly, children are 'drugged' into compliance (ADD and ADHA - while it is a real problem, IMHO it is WAY OVERDIAGNOSED). Children are not raised to accept failure and move on, now everyone is a winner and no one accepts defeat anymore. The list goes on and on.

Jeepin'


Judging by the influx of pro-spankers that always chime in on spanking threads, spanking is still going on. That means the number of children being spanked in this generation probably is the same as the last generation. I say that, not only because of the overwhelming responses that are pro-spanking, but because parents usually use the same discipline methods as their own parents.

So the number of children being spanked has not changed from our parents' generation to ours, yet we do have more violence in our schools, kids on drugs, etc. So there must be something else to contribute to the increase, right?

What makes sense to me (and from everything I've read) is it is due to children being exposed - and early exposure at that - to incredible amounts of violence from t.v., Internet, video games, etc. I'm in my 30's and can only remember watching reruns of the Brady Bunch in the afternoons when I got home from school, and Bugs Bunny on Saturday mornings. (We didn't have cable and had about eight channels to choose from.) The rest of the time I was in my backyard building tree houses and making mud pies. You probably were too.

As for drugs, aside from Meth - which seems to be rampant everywhere - prescription drugs are abused far more than cocaine or any other recreational drug. Why is that? How are kids getting these drugs? It's because almost everyone is on a flippin' anti-depressant now. Xanax, Zoloft, etc., etc., are grossly overprescribed. People don't want to deal with the root causes of their depression and use effective methods like cognitive therapy; they want to pop a pill. So Johnny sees those pills (along with BP and heart medications) in the medicine cabinet and there you go....

Also, parents just aren't around for their children anymore. We've got far too many latchkey kids and that's just asking for trouble. In an ideal world, most moms I'm sure would love to stay home with their children, but because housing, automobiles, food, etc. cost so much in this damm country, moms have to work too. (Also, a woman can't afford to be away from the workforce a few years to raise her kids because if she does, she'll have to start over in her career when she goes back. Unfair but true.) So if twelve-year-old Johnny's at home by himself from 3:00 to 5:30 in the afternoons, he's much more likely to find and take these drugs or get creative and start huffing on air freshener (something that is, sadly, also becoming common.)

So I veered a bit with that, but it all comes back to the points in your post. People are still spanking their children; the evidence is clear (and all over this thread), so you can't attribute lack of spanking to unruly kids. Also, and I've pointed this out before, there are plenty of people in our prisons in their 50's and 60's that were from the so-called "spanked" generation. So lack of spanking has nothing to do with it, it's lack of parenting and lack of boundaries.

But thanks for your post. I always enjoy and respect your contributions.
quote:
Originally posted by Buttercup:
Judging by the influx of pro-spankers that always chime in on spanking threads, spanking is still going on. That means the number of children being spanked in this generation probably is the same as the last generation. I say that, not only because of the overwhelming responses that are pro-spanking, but because parents usually use the same discipline methods as their own parents.

So the number of children being spanked has not changed from our parents' generation to ours, yet we do have more violence in our schools, kids on drugs, etc. So there must be something else to contribute to the increase, right?

What makes sense to me (and from everything I've read) it is due to children being exposed - and early exposure at that - to incredible amounts of violence from t.v., Internet, video games, etc. I'm in my 30's and can only remember watching reruns of the Brady Bunch in the afternoons when I got home, and Bugs Bunny on Saturday mornings. (We didn't have cable and had about eight channels to choose from.) The rest of the time I was in my backyard building tree houses and making mud pies. You probably were too.

As for drugs, aside from Meth - which seems to be rampant everywhere - prescription drugs are abused by far more than cocaine or any other recreational drug. Why is that? How are kids getting these drugs? It's because almost everyone is on a flippin' anti-depressant now. Xanax, Zoloft, etc., etc., are grossly overprescribed. People don't want to deal with the root causes of their depression and use effective methods like cognitive therapy; they want to pop a pill. So Johnny sees those pills in the medicine cabinet and there you go....

Also, parents just aren't around for their children anymore. We've got far too many latchkey kids and that's just asking for trouble. In and ideal world, most moms I'm sure would love to stay home with their children, but because housing, automobiles, food, etc. cost so much in this damm country, moms have to work too. So if twelve-year-old Johnny's at home by himself from 3:00 to 5:30 in the afternoons, he's much more likely to find and take these drugs or get creative and start huffing on air freshener (something that is, sadly, also becoming common.)

So I veered a bit with that, but it all comes back to the points in your post. People are still spanking their children; the evidence is clear (and all over this thread), so you can't attribute lack of spanking to unruly kids. Also, and I've pointed this out before, there are plenty of people in jail in their 50's and 60's that were from the so-called "spanked" generation. So lack of spanking has nothing to do with it, it's lack of parenting and lack of boundaries.

But thanks for your post. I always enjoy your contributions.


While I dont contribute any of this to spanking or not spanking exclusively, I have to disagree with you about the number of children spanked. There are parts of this country (I've lived all over it) where it is not acceptable to swat your child in public. Period. You will get a visit from DHR because someone will call in a complaint. Although most are cleared, DHR is still required to make the visit when a complaint is called. Because of this, all over the country, I feel there is much less spanking today than in the past. And children from about 6 or 7 up know this and use it against their parents. I see it all the time. Parents are spanking less out of fear of having to explain themselves more than out of not wanting to spank. As I said, this is not seen here as much as many other places in the US, this being the bible belt and all.

I was a latchkey kid back in the mid to late 80's and early 90's. Latchkey children have been around for a long time (my father was a latchkey kid as well). What kept me in line (most of the time) during those few hours? Fear of what would happen if I didn't. Where did that fear come from? Discipline. Mine was a mixture of spanking, grounding, write offs (Id rather had a spanking), and whatever other method my parents could think of. I was brought up to 'respect' my parents. They werent my friends or my buddies, they were my parents and they acted like it.

With all the things that are changing and all the things that are going wrong, I know from personal experience that spankings work if used correctly. Do the studies you posted show different? Yep. But there were also studies once upon a time that said cigarette smoking was safe and that limiting the speed to 55 would save lives. Both turned out the be incorrect. So, todays studies could be easily proven incorrect tomorrow, while past experience never changes.

The point of my post was that, just like I dont critisize folks that dont spank their children because they believe it is wrong, I dont expect to be critisized because I think it is right. This issue is not an issue that affects the public in general, it is an issue that deals with my personal realtionship with my child and, in all honesty, its not anyone elses concern if someone wants to spank or not spank. Like I said earlier, there is nothing wrong with a person trying to explain their beliefs (as you have here, besides, anyone who knows me knows I like a good debate), its those that believe that someone is less of a parent or a person because they choose to spank that bother me.

Jeepin'
Here is my study on spanking: I have two older children that have occasionally been spanked. I could probably count the times on 1 hand. I mainly use grounding or taking things away. They are well behaved and have never almost never been in trouble in school. Citizenship grades, most of the time, are 100's or 99's or 98's. I have a younger child who is harder to handle. Groundings don't work nor does taking things away nor time outs. Spankings are the only thing we've found to work at home. We have tried a multitude of other methods. This child is also well behaved in school. She is a kindergartner, but has only moved her clothes pin one time at school this year. From practical parenting experience, I would say try other things first. Use spanking as a last resort. Never spank in anger. The key to discpline is consistency. Find something that works and stick with it until it no longer works and then try something else. The main thing is to love them enough to discipline them. It may make them unhappy for the moment, but in the long run it will make them happy, well adjusted, law abiding citizens.
quote:
Originally posted by Lets Go Jeepin':

While I dont contribute any of this to spanking or not spanking exclusively, I have to disagree with you about the number of children spanked. There are parts of this country (I've lived all over it) where it is not acceptable to swat your child in public. Period. You will get a visit from DHR because someone will call in a complaint. Although most are cleared, DHR is still required to make the visit when a complaint is called. Because of this, all over the country, I feel there is much less spanking today than in the past. And children from about 6 or 7 up know this and use it against their parents. I see it all the time. Parents are spanking less out of fear of having to explain themselves more than out of not wanting to spank. As I said, this is not seen here as much as many other places in the US, this being the bible belt and all.

I was a latchkey kid back in the mid to late 80's and early 90's. Latchkey children have been around for a long time (my father was a latchkey kid as well). What kept me in line (most of the time) during those few hours? Fear of what would happen if I didn't. Where did that fear come from? Discipline. Mine was a mixture of spanking, grounding, write offs (Id rather had a spanking), and whatever other method my parents could think of. I was brought up to 'respect' my parents. They werent my friends or my buddies, they were my parents and they acted like it.

With all the things that are changing and all the things that are going wrong, I know from personal experience that spankings work if used correctly. Do the studies you posted show different? Yep. But there were also studies once upon a time that said cigarette smoking was safe and that limiting the speed to 55 would save lives. Both turned out the be incorrect. So, todays studies could be easily proven incorrect tomorrow, while past experience never changes.

The point of my post was that, just like I dont critisize folks that dont spank their children because they believe it is wrong, I dont expect to be critisized because I think it is right. This issue is not an issue that affects the public in general, it is an issue that deals with my personal realtionship with my child and, in all honesty, its not anyone elses concern if someone wants to spank or not spank. Like I said earlier, there is nothing wrong with a person trying to explain their beliefs (as you have here, besides, anyone who knows me knows I like a good debate), its those that believe that someone is less of a parent or a person because they choose to spank that bother me.

Jeepin'


It doesn't matter if there are parts of the country where swatting/spanking/whatever is unacceptable; people still do it. Smoking pot is illegal, but people still do it. And a 6 or 7 year old child won't just randomly accuse his parents of spanking him, just because. You say you see it all the time. Maybe it's happened here and there, but not all the time. If a child realizes he can be taken away from a loving home and loving parents, he will not make such an accusation unless he's non compos mentis.

So you were a latchkey kid and turned out fine. You were lucky. Are you honestly going to argue that there aren't latchkey kids out there who get themselves into trouble for the simple fact that they have no supervision several hours a day, day after day? I'm not a helicopter parent, but am sure not going to allow my child to be alone at home until I'm 100% certain he's mature enough and reliable enough to handle it.

And instilling fear of a spanking in my child for misbehaving is just wrong. Again, frightening and terrorizing children is not your job as a parent. You're not a state trooper; you're a parent - their first, and most important, teacher. You make them understand WHY the action is wrong. Spanking does not teach such a lesson.
Regardless of what anyone thinks, spanking, when done properly, IS a proven, effective and accepted way of disciplining a child for misbehavior. Is it 'appropriate' for all occassions? No. But as an adult you 'should' be able to differentiate between the times it is/isn't.

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