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didn't know where else to put this.

One evening last week, a man and his wife were getting into bed. well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”
The man said “WHAT???!!! What was that?!”

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear…
“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to his puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night He went to sleep.

The very next day he opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. They went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. He walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so he told her they’ll just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so he said 'lets get a pair for each outfit'. We went to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you, she was so excited, she must have thought her husband was one wave short of a shipwreck.

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, lets go to the cashier.”
He could hardly contain myself when he blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled “WHAT??!!!” He then said “Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill him, he added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”


And THAT, Your Honor, is why my client maintains that her husband, the victim, died from self inflicted wounds.
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