You have no idea how much your life will improve when you quit being a liberal and become a conservative...
Bullies won't dare kick sand in your face at the beach anymore.
You'll peel off the "Save the Whales" bumper sticker and replace it with "I'm in the NRA"
Men can stand up to pee, and don’t have to ask permission first.
No more carrying a “man purse”. You can wear pants with pockets.
You will start drinking whiskey and beer instead of those fruity drinks with the little umbrella.
You'll take the cats to the pound and pick out a big dog…a Rottweiler or a Great Dane.
Out with the Hybrid car and in with a Harley or a 4x4. No more getting cut off in traffic.
No more quiche, sushi or veggie plates, hello rib eye and taters.
You'll toss out your Boy George records and start listening to Waylon and Hank.
You're favorite movie will no longer be “The Sound of Music” or “Gigli”; instead you’ll watch such classics as “Big Jake”, “Monte Walsh”, “Bullitt”, and “First Blood”.
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